Dustin Says

The Scholastic Book Fair was the shit...and just as mobile as my house. 

Me: I have my appointment tonight. 
Dustin: With your old therapist?
Me: Yeah, but it's virtual. 

Dustin: Like Jamiriqui - you're virtually insane!

Talking about fossilized poop...

Imagine you've taken a shit that stood the test of time. 

Me: You've got a buffalo butt. 

Dustin: Well you have a buffalo head. 

Me: You really should use the moisturizer I got you. 

Dustin: I'm naturally greasy like a cheese pizza. 

In my car...

Me: You can put on your music. 

Dustin: Nah, actually this song is exactly how I feel. 

turns Linkin Park up louder...

I TRIED SO HARD 

AND GOT SO FAR

BUT IN THE END 

IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER

Vin Diesel should only be driving cars with diesel engines. More like Vin Unleaded. 

Deuces Dooce

TW: Talk of depression, suicide

This post is my tribute to Heather Armstrong. She was technically a stranger to me, but she felt more like an old friend I hadn't seen in awhile. When I read the post by her partner that she was in fact gone, my heart sank. The news consumed me for days and then I had the urge to write about it. 

To get the full story I have to start at the very beginning of my introduction into blogs many years ago in the mid 2000s. Back then I was still in my LiveJournal era. I wasn't sure about blogs because they were so much more polished in every way - the writing, the photos, the content itself, and all those linky links. We bared our cold dead souls on LiveJournal but I was so happy to learn, that the blogs I wasn't sure about, had just as much heart...and guts. 

Like so many stories, this one begins with emo music. I've been a fan of The Early November since high school, and because I'm such a fan, I have followed them on all their various social media accounts for 20+ years. I also follow Ace Enders' personal account as well as his wife Jenn. Somewhere along the way many years ago she started a "mommy blog" that she kept for their new son (who is now a teenager - so yeah, time is crazy). I enjoyed reading about their adventures touring with a baby and her experience as a new mother. 

I then went down a mommy blogger rabbit hole. Some of my favorites were Dani Hampton of Sometimes Sweet and Melissa Jordan of Without Melissa and of course the big timers like Rebecca Woolf of GirlsGoneChild and Heather Armstrong of Dooce. 

I'm still not completely sure what I was so enamored with given that I've pretty much always known I didn't want kids. Why would someone who is happily childfree read mommy blogs regularly? 

Because of the stories they told, and the way they did so with humor and brutal fucking honesty. They never watered down their experiences but instead poured them onto the internet with force.

I had never heard any mother I knew in real life talk about motherhood, and just life in general, in such an honest way - how messy it all is...and I'm not talking about dirty diapers. They so beautifully told stories of their families, and bravely woven between the birthday posts and sponsored content posts they also shared all the shit most of us only discuss in shameful hushed voices; from depression to marital issues/divorce to cancer, etc. 

I kept up with so many blogs for so many years and then slowly everyone's posts became less and less frequent, including my own. Currently, Rebecca is the only one of my original blog squad that is back to writing regularly and I'm back to gobbling up her words just like before. Also I'm obsessed with her book that came out last year - All of This. Highly recommend to everyone. 

I've kept up with Heather the last few years strictly via instagram. She'd always post photos on that cool front porch of hers or of her sweet pup or her trips to Paris. Before that I listened to her podcast and I read her book The Valedictorian of Being Dead and of course her blog. Her writing was always so fun and snarky. I immediately connected with her talk of depression. She wrote so openly to strangers about her own experiences long before I could even talk about my struggles with the people I'm closest to. 

So many people do not get it. I crave that connection with those who do. She got it. It's everything to not feel alone with something like this and her writing helped. I felt seen.

Thank you for sharing with us all, Heather. 

Rest easy.

"Because of her, I was..." - A lovely post by Rebecca Woolf.

Heather Armstrong Was the Original Influencer - From the NYT.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Tacky Elf

Today is Mother's Day but more importantly it's the 14th which means I've got exactly a month until my birthday. It's all very exciting and depressing in equal parts. I'm still trying to figure out if I want to have a little get together of some kind and if so, where?! Who knows. Not me. Not yet. But I did want to share my wishlist for those that want to buy me something but may be stuck. Some might call this "tacky" but honestly I wish all my friends had a link to their wishlists because although I am an expert gift giver, even I get stuck from time to time. 

I've been part of a Swiftie Christmas exchange for years and our group uses Elfster. I've just kept using it to keep track of items I want but don't necessarily need or want to buy myself at the moment. I hate when someone is like "what do you want?" and my mind suddenly goes blank.

So the thing is, I'm using this to keep track of things I plan to eventually buy myself but if you want to buy me something, it's a great guide (and that way you don't have to ask Dustin - ha!).

I know my friends know that all I ever want is their friendship and company should I have a celebration but for those that insist and for those that their love language is gifts, this post is for you.