Dustin Says (Pandemic Catch-Up Part 3)

 My parents weren't "high society", just high on drugs.

How do I get a job at Nickleodeon in the 90s?

We have more fans in this house than Taylor Swift.

Isn't life with me a lot better but also a little worse?

I'm getting a vibe from you today that you want to stab me.

As the cats were freaking out about our rotisserie chicken...

They act like little monsters and I'm not talking about Lady Gaga. 

Georgia: Mass Part II

Dustin and I hit the road Saturday morning (cue Mass Pike by The Get Up Kids) to see Hayley and Georgia. We drove and by that I mean Dustin drove the hour and a half to their neck of Massachusetts. We got off the exit and I had to pee something insane. The problem with small towns is the lack of public bathrooms and I didn't have my You Go Girl with me! I went in a general store, a gas station, and another gas station before finally being able to relieve myself. At that point my bladder was throbbing and I was starting to have a panic attack. A real fun way to start out the day. 

But after that little fiasco we made it to Hayley's and got to meet Georgia, my second cousin, for the first time. She's also the first and possibly only baby to be born on my mom's side of the family out of us four grandkids so she's been all the rage this year. I sound like some elderly person "There hasn't been a baby around these parts in 30 years!". But there hasn't so this is a new and fun experience. Even though Hayley and I lived a couple hours away we grew up together and were always close given that we're just a year apart. Of course getting together these days, states away, during an on going global pandemic has proved to be complicated (to say the least), we've made it work. 

Even though the three of us have been vaxxed up, Georgia can't be yet (at least not for COVID), and since Dustin and I traveled from the COVID capital of the US (here's looking at you Florida) we all thought it in the best interest of the bebe to be as safe as possible while visiting. So when inside, Dustin and I wore our masks. We also drove everywhere in separate cars. We ate meals outside. It was all totally fine and doable. The only part that bummed me out was not being able to hold her. Next time? 

We grabbed lunch at Tandem Bagel wherein I ate a delicious thanksgiving-esque situation of turkey and cranberry. The weather was nice. Still on the warmer side (upper 70s - 80) but practically winter by Florida standards. 

Later in the day we went to a cute orchard and sipped on apple cider slushies, bought apple cider donuts for later, and took scenic photos. The owner's dog is apparently always on site and just brings his ball to you and drops it at your feet. I threw the slobbery thing a few times before he moved on to his next new friend. 

We came back and had Mexican food delivered once GG was in bed. Then watched the Dirty Dancing episode of Movies That Made Us and it really made me want to visit that cute little adult summer camp even more. 

Hayley's husband was away on business (aka had a few races out of state) so she kindly gave Dustin and I their bedroom upstairs. The minute we got into bed, Teenie curled right up in between us, as if to say "Ok, I'm ready for bed too!". It was hilariously cute and honestly made me feel like I was home.

Hayley made us a bomb dot com breakfast of bacon and French toast with fruit. Not only that but we ate it out on her porch where it was a crisp fall 57 degrees. I got to wear a damn sweatshirt! Truly the little things. As we wrapped up breakfast her other cat, Nubbin, escaped (apparently this is an ongoing issue) but of course we felt awful. Dustin was walking slow cat whispering circles around her house trying to lure the little shit back in but of course he was living his best outdoor life. She urged us not to stress it and so we all left for out last little adventure before heading to the airport. We drove up Mount Tom (where the Grinch once called home or so the story goes) to a nice overlook of her city. We took in the view and said our distanced goodbyes.

Who wore it best?

Answer: GG

We flew out of Hartford, CT and thankfully didn't have to go back to Boston. Hail Satan! Our first trip in awhile was a success with only minor issues (callback to the car rental and no bathroom moments). And if you are worried about what happened to Nubbin, see below. 

It's so interesting to watch someone you've known since you were a baby have their own baby 35 years later. It's just different, somehow, than any time my friend's have become parents. We were just kids, weren't we? Aren't we? I guess not, even if I do still feel like I'm 16 some days. Maybe it's just the way I am reconciling with the aging process. And if I'm being honest, it's just another confirmation that I am indeed on my own path and sometimes that can feel a bit lonely. One that I'm proud of but also still very much not the "norm" although us childfree by choice folks have made huge strides. And if I'm being really honest, I also feel a bit of guilt that Georgia won't have that cousin relationship that Hayley and I grew up with and still share. I'm sorry for that because it's a beautiful thing but I will tell you this GG, it's ok to go your own way no matter how hard it can be at times. I'm excited to watch you grow up as I've watched your mom.  

Cheers to your new adventure as a mom, cuz. I love you. 

Salem: Mass Part I

For the very first time in two years Dustin and I boarded a plane and left the state of Florida. 

FINALLY. 

The plane took off just before 7:30 AM and we ended up landing 30 minutes ahead of schedule. Thankfully the ride up was smooth and we didn't have to deal with any Karen's not following the mask rules. Dustin read and I watched a whole ass movie on my Kindle. 

Everything was going fine and looking back it wasn't really that BIG of a deal but you know those in-the-moment-frustrations? Yeah this was that. The signage at the Boston airport for rentals is not great. We ended up at "ground transportation" with a bunch of other people all looking around confused asking "Is this the shuttle for rentals?" and I was just like "I hope so!". (Spoiler alert: It was.) It was a good 20+ minute ride with multiple stops and our big ol' rental building was last. Then the signage AT the rental building was terrible too and it was confusing finding our specific one. So after walking bak and forth we finally found the line we were supposed to be in. Then when we got to the counter the system kept crashing. The woman helping us (who was very nice despite being frustrated as hell) was over it as were we but thankfully none of us took it out on the other. Finally, we go to the garage to pick up our car and there is ONE guys working it with a line of people waiting. This poor dude had to sprint across the garage and then Tokyo Drift every car back over by himself. We ended up with a basic bitch Elantra that was so low to the ground I just started rolling out of it by the end of our trip. It also had the largest "OH-SHIT" handle that I used more as a joke but once for real when Dustin was trying to merge on a highway. The merge lanes up north are barely a car length so it gets dicey. 

We high tailed it out of Boston and went about 40 minutes north to Salem. I had posted something on Instagram a few months back about going on a Hocus Pocus tour someday when Hayley responded to it with "Y'all should come up and visit!" and that night I bought the tickets because FUCK IT. Typical Ashley would have thought it over for a month and then decided but we're in a pandemic and who knows if we will ever not be in one. I have done ALL I can do to protect myself so it is time to get back to living my goddamn life. 

First order of business was getting some lunch because that was probably at least half of our crankiness. We stopped at the Village Tavern and Dustin got some super good fish and I got the bomb dot com chili. We went by the Hocus Pocus Tours next door but apparently they were closed so we decided we'd just do our own damn tour. First we had to walk the shops along the very touristy area. One in particular reminded me so much of my cousin Jo since she was Wiccan. I bought some harmonizing crystals that came as a pair, one for Aubrie and one for me (not usually my thing but since it gave me Jo vibes I wanted to hold on to that in any way I can). We popped into a few more stores and bought Kierce a shirt. They are the only ones who got anything this trip. 

Then we drove around and commented on how many Dunkin Donuts (I believe Hayley told me they call it Dunky Ds up there) we had passed in just a few miles. We headed up to Old Burial Hill. We walked around and tried to read what the very old graves said - tthe people's names, the dates, the ships, the battles.  It was right in the middle of a cute little New England neighborhood and I just couldn't understand how people could live literally next door to a very old cemetery but also I'm a scaredy cat so... 

 

Then we went to The Satanic Temple as their headquarters are located in Salem. Dustin and I might have missed this stop on the trip if we hadn't watched the documentary Hail Satan (now on Hulu). I highly recommend you check it out no matter your personal beliefs because I guarantee it's not at all what you think it is. If you happen to pass judgement by just the name itself that's on you. The building was beautiful inside and the tour was quick but fun. My only complaint is their gift shop didn't have postcards.

It was finally time for our own little Hocus Pocus tour in which I make Dustin drive me to a few of the movie locations. First up was Max and Dani's house which I always loved as a kid. I wanted his bedroom with the weird little window at the top. 

Then we drove to Alison's mansion which looked pretty boring without all the Halloween decor. I mean, not even one pumpkin?!

In my Hocus Pocus research I also found some interesting filming locations they did in Los Angeles. I remember seeing Hocus Pocus in theaters in 1993 when I was 8 (and also obsessed with Thora Birch. Anyone remember Monkey Trouble and Now and Then also starring her?!) Not only did I see it in theaters but I remember going with my cousins Jodi, Tracy, and Nikki. So it really did all circle back. I'll never forget the way we all jumped when Sarah popped out of Max's bed. Ahhh!