Best of....2010s

My brain just kind of starts to explode if I think too long that the 2010s are coming to an end. 

What. A. Decade. 

Here are some of my own personal highlights:

• Started this blog!
• Got married.
• Moved back to Orlando.
• Changed jobs a lot for a myriad of reasons.
• Got to travel to Portland, Seattle, Dallas, Austin, Savannah, Atlanta, and Mass for the first time! And to Pittsburgh yearly!
• Became a cat lady!
• Grew and chopped my hair more times than I can count. 
• Added to my tattoo collection.
• Welcomed my 30s.
• Got through 2018 which will go down as the hardest year thus far in my 34 years.
• The Pens were back to back Stanley Cups Champs which means the Maffs were very happy. 

I'm ready for 2020 and this next decade! But first here are my faves from the 2010s...

TV SHOWS

Parks and Rec
Parenthood
Stranger Things
Broad City
The Americans
Fleabag
Breaking Bad
Friday Night Lights
Bob's Burgers
Peaky Blinders


MOVIES

Inside Out
Lady Bird
Dunkirk
Whiplash
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Ex-Machina
Bridesmaids
Interstellar
Moonrise Kingdom
Guardians of the Galaxy


ALBUMS

reputation - Taylor Swift
After Laughter - Paramore
Science Fiction - Brand New
25 - Adele
Growing Pains - Maria Mena
Love You to Death - Tegan & Sara
To Be Everywhere Is To Be Nowhere - Thrice
Golden Hour - Kacey Musgraves
+ - Ed Sheeran
Pure Heroine - Lorde


BOOKS

Where the Crawdads Sing by Della Owens
Educated by Tara Westover
Me Before You by Jojo Moyes
Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur
The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas
A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman
The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah
On The Island - Tracey Garvis Graves
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

Dustin Says

Me: Was that a fart?
Dustin: Yeah, but it sounded like a baby elephant was being born.

I don't fuck with feelings.

When I become President I'm doing away with summers.

I treat drugs the same as salads - just say no.

Sometimes I can't believe I married someone who used to listen to country and still eats cream of wheat.

The Tale of a Hamburger Frosty Tree

Katie and Cristina aka Dishtina (Frontier jokes!) met at work years and years ago. She and I had met at Katie's events and parties but I think we really got to know each other for Katie's 30th birthday trip to Savannah. And since then Cristina and I have been friends via Katie. 

Kaycee and I only worked together for maybe 3 months before I left to work at my current job but we clicked almost from the start thanks to our Harry Potter obsession (and other nerdy interests), true crime podcasts, cussing, sarcasm, memes, and politics. Girl was after my heart! So I was bummed to leave her BUT we seriously text daily ever since and get together when we can. One of those times was when she came out for my 34th party this past June. She and Katie got along swimmingly and we started to discuss when our next get together would be. I mentioned Hamburger Mary's because I knew Katie had never been but knew she would love it! So for months and months we tried to plan this outing but with Katie's busy semester and Kaycee's work travel it was hard to pin point a good time. While we were in talks about when this was going to go down Katie mentioned it to Cristina who also wanted to go. So the four of us miraculously were all free on Black Friday night. I made reservations and that was that. We all had something to look forward to after the stress of family and food coma of Thanksgiving. 

Katie and Cristina came to my house and from there I drove us downtown since I don't drink and also know my way a little more. Kaycee Ubered and met us at our first stop - Hamburger Mary's. We were seated pretty close to the stage so we'd have great views of the ladies! We ordered food and drinks (Our super cute waiter brought me a kids cup when I just ordered a Coke and I about died laughing). The girls drank shots and legs and we scarfed down our food before the show started. 

All three ladies were hilarious and had MOVES and OUTFITS and WIGS and the works! GET. IT. We had the best time singing along with the songs and laughing at all the R rated jokes. We all fell in love with London Rory who serenaded us with 'Let It Go'. It was a fun time as I knew it would be. Katie gave me a huge compliment by saying something along the lines of how much fun I am and I don't even drink. Ha!

From there we went over to Frosty's Christmastime Lounge which is a Christmas themed bar that I went to one other time and had a blast with old co-workers because it "snowed" and they blasted Christmas music the whole time. Singing N'SYNC's 'Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays' at a fucking bar at the top of your lungs is my kind of a party. So I was ready to go back especially since the other ladies had never been. What we realized very quickly is that they turned half of Frosty's into some basic bitch sportswear with giant TVs and it lost not only square footage but charm to boot. I was so annoyed and then to add to my annoyance NOT ONE CHRISTMAS SONG. We made the best of it by dancing with the Santa statue and climbing onto the fireplace. You bet your ass I sent an email about how disappointed I was the next day. My inner Karen comes out sometimes. Shrug. 

Since Frosty's was kind of lame we skipped down to The Treehouse per Kaycee's suggestion. This place was super cute and had a lot of personality. The bathtub was of course everyone's favorite photo spot but come on - WE HAD TO even if we had to fight our way to it from a gang of instagram models. Some idiot spilled Katie's drink and it took her awhile to get it replaced. We all danced like maniacs in the room next door which played horrible music and made us feel like grandmas when the other people on the floor looked like they had never experienced dial-up before.

The last stop of the night was this cute little Irish Pub that was quiet and chill.

UNTIL.

Of course there is an "UNTIL".

This guy at the bar started making eyes at Kaycee even though she immediately shut him down with an eye roll and head shake. We kept chatting amongst our foursome about tired feet and being up way past our bedtime when the dude and his extremely drunk friend decided to pull up a couple of chairs. THEN they asked if they could join us which was when I said "No, we're having a girls night." and they replied "Well we're having a boys night" completely missing the point. They wouldn't leave and Katie started to tell them what was up. I then left the table to find our mullet-haired waiter at the bar to ask for our checks because these two douche canoes wouldn't leave us alone. He obliged and as everyone was paying their tab the assholes left. When someone says they don't want you at their table, leave. No one should have to put up with arrogant, entitled, drunk dudes harassing them. I'm just glad we banded together and got the hell back to the car. I ended up driving Kaycee home so she didn't have to pay for another Uber and then drove back to my house to drop off Katie and Cristina and skip my tired ass to bed.

OMG what a night even with all the weirdos and disappointments. None of that shit matters when you have a good group of girls to spend the evening with. Let's do it again soon!

 







 

Found

Taylor Swift documentary is coming out NEXT MONTH!

Do All Atheists Think The Same?

'Good As Hell' music video.

Devon Sawa Answers Every Question We Have About Now and Then

Jetty Bones' new video for 'the part:' is the bomb.

Corporate Office Be Like...

Cat People Be Like...

I Resurrected My Dead Friends As Sims To Watch Them Live The Lives They Never Will

The daily life of this cute hamster.

Inside World's First Museum Dedicated to the Vagina

'Adore You' music video is fucking amazing. The song is good the visuals are great.

Chrissy Teigen answered a bunch of questions about being a celebrity.

Woman Patiently Tries to Befriend Stray Cat

It's OK to Mourn the People You've Had To Cut Off

This bathroom makeover is everything!

Artist Imagines a World Where Humans Live Among Giant Cats

I wish I'd never been born: the rise of the anti-natalists

The Truth Is Out There

I had a lot of good ideas for this year's Christmas card (which I won't list because they might be used down the road) but Dustin shot down every single one. He was set on doing something 2019 pop culture related. So we scoured the internet for all the headlines of this year until finally he said "AREA 51!" and a Christmas card was born. 

I was gifted the shirt I'm wearing that reads "The end is meow" and I bought my headband and silver shorts on Amazon. Dustin also bought his get up on Amazon (which totally confused Katie as seen below and totally had me rolling!). 

I was going to make a bunch of props and background signs for our photoshoot when Dustin said "Just photoshop everything!" which is incredibly time consuming and took me forever. BUT I will say I'm really happy with the end result and it's definitely one of my favorites.

One of my favorite things every year is getting the reaction texts to our latest card. It fills me with such joy that a loved one has gone to their mailbox, usually full of bills, and found our little card that hopefully gave them a chuckle upon opening it.

Merry everything earthling!

 


 

   

Thanksmas

Dustin and I left early since we had to stop by and check on Amberly (and give her a turkey feast of her own in cat food form) before heading to Gainesville. The ride up was made easier via listening to Armchair Expert's Sam Harris episode since Dustin really likes Sam and I'm just learning about him but I also enjoyed him. 

There were all kinds of shenanigans the minute we walked in the door with our green bean casserole and sweet potato casserole. My mom immediately shoved an old magazine in my face to show me that yes, Toyota Corona's do exist. Or used to at least. 

Some backstory for those not in the know...last time we all were at Flagler Beach my mom mentioned that she used to drive a Corona and we all died laughing because we thought she misspoke and instead of Corolla she said Corona. She swore up and down that was the name of it and we were all "Ok, boomer". And then over a year later she brought proof in the form of a magazine from the 60s. Fuck google when you have physical proof. 

I missed the parade since we were driving up during the time it aired but we did get to watch the dog show as a big ol' happy family and ooh, ahh at the dogs. And if I'm being honest laugh our asses off at some of them too. 

Hayley's friend Mitch joined us for all the craziness and fit right in by being introduced to the damn Corona and partook in jokes about shrunken heads (aka balls of alpaca fur hanging from trees) and The Godfather movies 1-6. We ate on the deck which was beautiful except it was VERY sunny and a bit warm. I am anti-sun in that I don't want to get burnt so I wore a napkin on half of my face with a hat Hayley grabbed for me from the front closet.

The meal was a real family affair with Hayley on pasta, Grey on potatoes (at 3 AM LOL), my aunt on turkey, and Dustin and I on the sides. We also brought Dustin's famous artichoke dip which was a huge hit. It was all so good!

We ended the day with presents since Hayley and Stephen aren't going to be here for Christmas and in turn neither will we. I'm still really proud of the Trump toilet bowl scrubber I got my aunt. I'm not sure I can outdo that one!

Thankful for you all always.