I've been wanting to write this particular post for the better half of a year. I've tossed it around in my head but haven't actually sat down to put it into blog form until now. What really pushed me over the edge to get this thing written and out into my little blog space was an event that happened to Dustin and I yesterday.
Dustin and I had planned to see Ant-Man and the Wasp Saturday morning at 10:30 am. We got there, found our seats, and waited through all of the horrible previews. During one of these previews we noticed a young white male walk into the theater with a full backpack on his back and an equally full duffel bag in his hand. He was alone. Dustin and I immediately looked at one another and walked out. Are there a million harmless scenarios why a man would bring all of this stuff into a movie theater? Sure.
I told my MFM FB group about it and although most believed Dustin and I made the right call I got responses like this:
- Maybe he's moving.
- Maybe he's military.
- Maybe he just got off work.
- Maybe it's a gym bag.
- Etc. Etc.
Yeah ok, MAYBE.
But Orlando, although a decent sized city, is not walkable. We are no New York or Chicago. People aren't carrying shit with them most of the time because the majority people have cars to leave said shit in because everything is spread out and public transportation is barely existent. I've been to a lot of movies in my day. Going to the movies is like our number one pastime and I've NEVER witnessed that ever. So yes, it triggered something in me given all of the mass shootings that are basically weekly occurrences. The 2012 Aurora theater shooting is one that stands out of course but Florida and especially Orlando has been home to 3 mass shootings in the last few years alone. It's understandable that the country, myself included, is on edge and more aware than ever.
Dustin and I went to customer service and I asked to speak to a manager but I never got to. The gentleman just asked what my issue was and then called the "manager" on the phone in front of me and told them my concern. I asked that the situation be checked out and that we get our money back, which we did. Dustin and I left and I still don't know what the final outcome was. Thankfully nothing was on the news so I'm going to assume it was a harmless incident. I contacted AMC corporate and told them they need better safety and security policies. I just don't understand how a man gets away with bringing giant bags with him into a theater. I'd be totally fine with bag checks or metal detectors or whatever is going to make people feel safe and actually keep them safe.
As a lot of you know I've been listening to the podcast '
My Favorite Murder' for about a year and a half and it has taught me so so much. Yes it is a comedy podcast. Yes it is about a very dark subject matter. But those ladies have made me think about my own safety in ways I never had before. I mean, they have the best suggestions and quotes to make you feel empowered and in control of your own fate. Here are some of my favorites:
Pepper spray first, apologize later.
If you see something, fucking say something!
Lock your fucking door.
Fuck politeness.
STAY SEXY AND DON'T GET MURDERED.
This is a list of my personal safety guidelines. Thanks to Karen and Georgia for helping me tweak them for the better since their podcast came out.
Go with your gut - I've done this many times in my life. The theater incident was just the most recent. You don't need to apologize to ANYONE. If something feels off then listen to your instincts. There is no shame in that. Just last month a
pregnant woman walking her dog was attacked and almost raped in Cincinnati but she did all the things right (kept distance, moved toward crowd of people) and eventually fought him off. It's no surprise she's a fellow murderino. Thankfully she, her unborn baby, and dog are all ok.
Stay alert - I used to walk to my car with my head down looking at my phone or ear buds still in from the gym blaring with boppy music - but not anymore. I like to stay alert now. Head up aware of my surroundings.
Lock it up - Lock your doors to your car as soon as you shut the door. I used to diddle daddle around with music or texts before even thinking about locking it but now it's just a habit that I lock it first. This also goes for your home. As soon as Dustin and I walk through our front door shit gets locked. Both regular lock and bolt. I don't care if you live in the cutest little Pleasantville style neighborhood, don't take the chance. It takes all of 2 seconds and you're that much safer.
Light it up - Keep your house well lit especially if you know you'll be home after dark. The better you can see the safer you'll be.
Meeting peeps - Technology is great and because of it we have the ability to get to know and have real relationships with all kinds of people, ones we may have never gotten the chance to meet without the internet or an app. I think it's great. I'm pro Bumble BFF or Tinder (or whatever the newest dating app. is - ha!) or custom FB groups. If your friendship or romantic interest turns into something deeper and you want to meet up in person I say go for it - but do so safely. Always meet in a public place. Also make sure to tell someone where you're going, who you'll be meeting, and when you think you'll be done. I know it sounds like a lot just to go on a date or meet up with a new friend but I rather spend 2 minutes composing a text than something happen and no one knows where to start.
Extra glasses - If you're like me and wear glasses 99.9% of the time I think it is a really good idea to keep an extra pair in your car or purse for
THIS reason but many others.
Don't leave your drink EVER - This goes for every damn lady out there for any kind of drink - alcoholic or not. If you leave your drink then buy a new one. There are shitty people out there that are looking to drug girls. Remember this story about some
badass women who saved a stranger from this exact fate? Look out for each other but also look out for yourself.
Weapons - I am as anti-gun as you can get but for those who do have guns I hope you take the time to get professionally trained on how to use the one(s) you own. You can't assume you know it all just because you play video games or your friend let you shoot their gun that one time 5 years ago. Be smart about it and most of all be safe. I do love me some pepper spray. It's something I carry around all the time. I've actually had it confiscated twice recently. One was actually at Universal ON MY WAY TO SEE MFM LIVE. Ain't that some shit? The other time was at the hospital visiting my new nephew. I just get a new one. They are under $20 and worth it. Tasers also seem like a good alternative! Self defense classes or tactics are great too. Just being aware of what is around you and what could potentially be used as a weapon is smart.
Groups - Stay in groups. If you and your friends parked on opposite ends of the parking garage walk together to one of your cars and then drop the other person off at their car. It's not being paranoid or dependent it's being safe.
