Dustin Says

I'm just trying to live my life and then Monday comes around and fucks it up.

Dustin: Have you heard the shark song?
Me: Yeah, that was so last year.
Dustin: Oh I heard it today. It's not bad.

While discussing he's had the same haircut for the last 20+ years.
The last time I brushed my hair I didn't have pubes.

Dustin: You're so brave.
Me: Why?
Dustin: You only set one alarm clock.

Referencing the new Taylor Swift song...
Dustin: I'll never go back to Camelia Street!
Me: IT'S CORNELIA STREET!!

Just call me Eagle Eye Cherry because I just saved tonight!

30 Day Writing Challenge: Thirty

Thirty
One Thing You're Excited For

Fall. It just encompasses everything good.

Cooler air (and pumpkin everything) means an overall happier mood in myself. I've noticed my depression really flairs up in the summer so I'm ready to shed that feeling and step into a crisp new season (in more than one way). It also means TWO trips (maybe three if we end up popping up to Pittsburgh). But for now I have Atlanta with the Bentons and Dallas/Austin with my Boo to look forward to. There's also more new music being released (hiiiii Tegan and Sara and The Early November) AND a concert with Dustin (TBS what up!). A new Sims Expansion pack, a bunch of new seasons of shows (Big Mouth, The Crown, Peaky Blinders, Breaking Bad movie...) and going to IMMERSE  & Mr. D with Katie.

So yeah FALL IS WHERE IT IS AT.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Twenty Nine

Twenty Nine
The Night of Your 21st Birthday

 

That year I was working over by Universal and my co-worker took me out to lunch and bought me a Strawberry Daquiri. I remember coming back to the office and we had cake and set up our own little photo booth. It was a fun day at the office.

I went home that evening and Aunt Sarah and Hayley were down from Gainesville. They along with my Grandpa and mom took me out to eat at Linda's LaCantina. I didn't get to see Dustin because it was a week day and he was in Palm Coast. He did send me some lovely purple flowers at work though. I didn't go out clubbing or get trashed in any way. I might be the only person who has not only never had a hangover the day after their 21st but EVER.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Twenty Eight

Twenty Eight
The Word/Phrase You Use Constantly

I feel like I need to have a conversation with someone so I can pick apart my own word usage. Off the top of my head I know I say "100%", "Totally", "Fair", and of course "Fuck" on the reg. I'm sure I'm missing a pivotal one but it's one of those questions it's hard to answer unless you're in the moment.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Twenty Seven

Twenty Seven
What You Wore Today

I don't have a photo of me in this particular dress and I'm too lazy to change back into it and take one. Sorry not sorry. It's a long sleeve, yellow floral dress from Old Navy. It looks similar to this one. I wore brown flats with it. Voila!

30 Day Writing Challenge: Twenty Six

Twenty Six
Things You'd Say to An Ex

You are scuuuuuum between my toes.

Little Rascals, anyone?

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In Taylor's words...
I forgot that you existed
It isn't love, it isn't hate, it's just indifference

But seriously I'd probably just say thanks for helping me grow and teaching me what I don't want in a relationship.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Twenty Five

Twenty Five
Four Weird Traits You Have

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1. I move my engagement ring in circles around my finger with my thumb when I'm nervous.
2. I sit cross legged 90% of the time (even at work which I try to stop but it's so natural that I don't even realize I'm doing it most the time).
3. I have anxiety/fear of starting a house fire with my straightener so to help ease my anxiety after leaving the house (my head will be all did I turn it off? should I turn back? should I make Dustin go check? and then my chest tightens with worry) I take a photo of the bathroom when I'm done to prove to my future self that, yes, I did indeed unplug it and put it away. 
4. I'm the most mom non-mom you'll ever meet. I'm always making sure people are drinking enough water, wearing sunscreen, or taking medicine. I have anything you need in my purse ready to go from safety pins to scissors to stamps to hair ties.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Twenty Four

Twenty Four
Something You Miss

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I miss having energy.

Once were the days I'd stay out past midnight with friends, go to a concert, drive around town, and I'd get up and go to school and/or work the next day like nothing. I'd sleep in on weekends but I never needed naps. Ok, maybe not never but not nearly as much as I do these days. I didn't feel completely overwhelmed by my lack of sleep all of the time. Fuck your coffee and caffeine in general. It doesn't wake me up. Fuck your 8+ hours of sleep. I'm still tired when I get the doctor's recommended amount. Fuck your healthy eating and your exercise and and and. Just fuck all of it. I do it all and nothing helps. I walk around like a zombie most days and I've just started to accept this is my life now.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Twenty Three

Twenty Three
A family member you dislike

There are so many! How do I choose? Jokes. Kind of.

I honestly wish I could answer this in open honesty but I feel like that would kind of be a dick move. I will just say there are several relatives I no longer have relationships with. If you know KNOW me then you know who these people are. I don't need to name check them on a public platform in some petty way.

I like to be figuratively "loud" about anything I feel passionately about, such as, certain political views, the choice to have children, and the choice to cut ties with relatives. These are hills that I'm prepared to die on. So many people have this idea ingrained in them that because they share a name or DNA with someone then they must always keep that person or people in their life, and I'm here to remind you that that is simply NOT TRUE. If a relative is constantly hurting you no matter how minor or major it is you do not have to stand for it. You don't have to call them any more or answer their texts or see them at family functions. One of the coolest things you get to do as an adult is CHOOSE the life you want, and in doing so you get to make the call on those that get to share it with you. Family is more so the people you choose than the ones you're born into. So no, I won't go into "a family member I dislike" but I will say I'm proud I've cut those people out. My life is happier, healthier, and less drama-filled. Guh-bye.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Twenty Two

Twenty Two
Your Morning Routine

WAKE UP
GRAB A BRUSH & PUT A LITTLE MAKE UP!

A little Chop Suey humor.

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• 5:35 - Wake up and immediately go take a shower aka my first cup of coffee
• 5:50 - Get out of shower, moisturize whole body, put PJs back on
• 6:00 - Watch something on the DVR aka my second cup of coffee
• 6:20 - Hug Dustin goodbye then make breakfast if not fasting that day
• 6:30 - start listening to a Podcast while doing my hair, maybe put on  makeup 
• 6:35 - Hand wash dishes in the sink
• 6:40 - Clean litter boxes
• 6:45 - Get dressed and brush teeth
• 6:55 - Make lunch
• 7:10 - Grab all my shit (purse, phone, my giant zak! water bottle, kindle, gym bag, and lunch)
• 7:15 - Tell cats that I love them and leave for work

Lover Era: Part I

It all started at the beginning of the year when Taylor started to post very bright, airy, and whimsical  filtered photos on her instagram. Taylor has always been very intentional about her posts so we all knew something was coming.

She posted a photo of seven palm trees (my fave theory here) and another of her sitting on the seventh step in her home. We all were certain TS7 was coming except then she posted a photo of her and five fence holes and we were all left scratching our heads.

 

Then she adorned the cover of Elle in bright yellow. This article was released in late February and in it she talks about how songs can bring you back to a certain place in your life.

"To this day, when I hear "Cowboy Take Me Away" by the Dixie Chicks, I instantly recall the feeling of being twelve years old, sitting in a little wood paneled room in my family home in Pennsylvania." 

And..

"When I hear "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! At The Disco, I'm transported back to being sixteen and driving down the streets of Hendersonville, Tennessee, with my best friend Abigail, euphorically screaming the lyrics."

We should have known. The clues were in plain sight as they often are.

My absolutely favorite article from this era is the one she wrote herself titled 30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30. She hints at things, sure, but first and foremost she gives some really good advice.

She then came to the iHeartRadio awards in one of my favorite looks ever.

Then as many Swifties predicted thanks to that stamp on Taylor's calendar we got our first countdown photo with a date.

4.26

And the photos kept on coming. As she posted more and more for the countdown I was convinced they were photos for a music video. I'm like the Dwight Shrute of Swiftie detectives. I try hard but I don't get very far. Ha! But this was something I just felt in my gut.

I'm a part of this MFM sub group called Swifterinos on FB. It is honestly the greatest little community and I always look forward to everyone's posts and input on all things Tay. I especially loved that someone posted the local news footage of this butterfly mural. I remember watching it during my lunch break at work thinking "OMGOMGOMG". Of course there were a lot of doubt, even in the Swiftiesphere, that this painting meant something and that Taylor was not going to actually show up. But then she posted on her instagram stories from a car and was laughing at us all. 

She jumped out of the car and took photos as the butterfly. Then she proceeded to take a ton of selfies with fans. Then she jumped back in her car and drove away leaving us all with our mouths on the floor because it was all just so overwhelming. The first thing I noticed about the mural was that there were THREE cats. But Taylor only has two or does she?!

I stayed up until midnight and watched the ME! music video live. I absolutely loved the video (especially the scenes with Meredith, Olivia, and Benjamin). I wasn't too sure on the song itself though. It reminded me of Shake It Off (another one that I thought the video was way better than the song itself) in that it was kind of bland and lacking but still catchy as hell. I was obsessed as everyone else looking for easter eggs for days after it's release.

Taylor's social media went a little quiet after all the ME! excitement but then we were graced with her Entertainment Weekly article and of course all of those enamel pins on her jean jacket. I couldn't find this magazine in stores. My husband even went to Barnes and Noble for me and couldn't find it. Then while we were in Seattle at Pike Place Market it was sitting there looking at me. So I of course bought it. One night while we were still on vacation in Seattle she released her Apple Playlist by ME! Dustin had fallen asleep in our big comfy hotel bed but I wasn't tired yet so I put in my earbuds and listened to each song on her playlist in the dark. I made notes in my phone of the ones I loved and downloaded them later. She introduced me to some really great songs and some new artists too. Thanks Tay!

Taylor went live on IG on June 13 (Happy early birthday to me!!) and announced that her new single 'You Need To Calm Down' will be out at midnight with the music video being released the following Monday. She also released the album cover, title (point to all you who guessed Lover), that there would be 18 tracks, and it would be released on 8/23 (8+2+3 = 13).  

FREAK OUT. 

Again, I just knew we were getting a new album soon and I'm so glad we are. 

I didn't love ME! so I was so excited to hear YNTCD. I loved it immediately from the first listen. I loved the whole sound of the song and that it discussed serious topics but in a lighter way. But seriously, people need to calm down. I also loved that it came out on my birthday (and coincidentally Trump's as well...) Talk about someone who needs to calm the fuck down. 

The video was so perfect! The Taylor park, all of the cameos, and especially that cheeseburger and fries reunion was epic!

And if you haven't signed Taylor's Equality Act petition please do so now. 

 

I'm not a huge musical fan. I mean, I saw Rent and The Greatest Showman but beyond that they aren't typically my thing. I've of course heard of Cats because I'm pretty sure everyone has whether you've seen the musical or not. I have no idea what it's about. I watched the trailer and even read a synopsis online and still couldn't tell you what it's about. BUT Taylor is in it with a killer cast so I will be sitting my ass in the theater to watch all the weirdness that has freaked the internet out. Ha!

 

I was so proud of Taylor for speaking out about Scooter Braun. Sometimes it just helps putting your thoughts and feelings out into the world even though you know you can't really change what's going on. It touched me in such a way that I was compelled to write her a letter. I wrote her a letter telling her how much we stand with her. I also of course thanked her for everything - the music, the laughs, the community. I haven't written a celebrity since 1995 (JTT and Tiffani-Amber Thiessen to be exact!). 

She went live yet again on IG to talk about the deluxe copies available at Target which will include actual pages from her journals and the original All Too Well lyrics which I think is what everyone is wanting to get their hands on. 

She also announced she was releasing the notorious Track 5 titled 'The Archer' right then. No waiting for midnight! But then she made us choose watching the livestream or going to listen and I just had to keep on with the livestream even though I was dying to listen to the new song. She also talked about how she was on the set of a music video for another song (which we now know was Lover) since 'The Archer' is not the next single. 

 

Vogue's September Issue article just came out and she just released (the song) 'Lover' last Friday. So much is going on. It's all so exciting. It's also weird because I'm so excited to hear the full album but at the same time I'm kind of mourning this in-between-Easter-egg-hunting-Swiftie-detective-work stage. I know a whole new stage awaits us and I'm honestly feeling a little emotional thinking about it. We have less than a week! And not only that but she's doing another livestream the day before so it's nice to have somewhat of a album eve party. 

Thank you again to my Swifterino group for getting my obsession and obsessing right along with me. It's really nice to have you guys to go to when I want to talk all things Tay. Also to my dearest one and only T-Swift obsessed friend Kaycee. I cannot wait for our dinner in honor of our girl. What should I wear?!

I'd also like to shout out a thanks to Dustin for being so goddamn supportive. Just last night he was playing a video game and said to me "So are you going to play Taylor's new song for me or what?". So I did and he said it was her best yet of the ones she's released in 2019. Agreed!

Next chapter. 

30 Day Writing Challenge: Twenty One

Twenty One
Your zodiac/horoscope and whether you think it fits you

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GEMINI
Duration: May 21 - June 21
Symbol: Twins

Strengths: Adaptable, outgoing, intelligent, energetic, clever, imaginative, witty
Weakness: Indecisive, impulsive, unreliable, superficial, restless
Other: Independent, nervous temperament

Off the top I agree about being adaptable. I feel I'm really good about reading a room, person, or situation and adjusting as necessary. I would never call myself outgoing. If I feel comfortable in a group setting I will be friendly but I am rarely the first person to reach out in a social setting. I 100% agree with the imaginative strength. I love and thrive with all things requiring some creativity and thinking outside the box.

On the weakness side I am definitely indecisive but that's it. I pride myself on being the most reliable person ever. If I make plans, I show up. If I tell you I'm going to do _____ then I'm going to do ______. I hate letting people down even in the smallest way. I'm not superficial at all. I much rather go deep than just be surface with someone. Surface relationships stress me out.

I actually got conflicting information about being independent. Some sites said that we hate to be alone and others said we don't. I definitely lean more towards being independent. I am very anxious and completely have a nervous temperament. Certain things trigger it more than others but in general I'm a nervous nelly.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Twenty

Twenty
Put your music player on shuffle and write the first three songs that play and what your initial thought is

1.  You Get What You Give by New Radicals - This is one of my favorite songs from the 90s. It still holds up.

 2.  All the Things She Said by t.A.T.u - This song brings me back to high school and makes me    think of their controversial MTV awards performance.

3. Almost There, Going Nowhere by The Starting Line - SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT! This brings me back to high school too but in a totally different way. This song feels like coming home. Also I find it interesting that TSL and t.A.T.u's hit both came out in the summer of 2002. 

Thirteen Years of Taylor

On June 19, 2006 Taylor Swift was introduced to the world with her song 'Tim McGraw'. It has officially been 13 years since then and if you know Taylor you know her number is 13. She not only used to write it in marker on her hand back in the old days but she chose 8/23 to release her new album, Lover, because the numbers add up to 13. 

Since it's release week I figure I'd post a few Taylor blogs. This one is a look back on all of her albums and what songs really stuck out and still do for me. I know every Swiftie is different and loves different songs (although I'm sure we can all agree All Too Well is one of her best). 

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10.24.2006

Taylor Swift

Top 3 Songs

1. Our Song
2. Should've Said No
3. Tim McGraw

Least Fave Song

1. Tied Together With A Smile

I'll never forget seeing the music video for Tim McGraw and thinking "I love this!" which was a little odd for me since I had kind of given up on country at that point. But she continually put out hit after hit and I was hooked. 

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11.11.2008

Fearless

Top 3 Songs

1. You Belong With Me
2. Fifteen
3. White Horse

Least Fave Song

1. Forever & Always

Fearless was more of the same from her debut for me which means it was still great and still country. 

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10.25.10

Speak Now

Top 3 Songs

1. Enchanted
2. Long Live
3. Back to December

Least Fave Song

1. Last Kiss

This was the album that turned me from normal fan to rabid fan. Everyone says Red was the album where she started to go pop but I really think it was Speak Now.

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10.22.2012

Red

Top 3 Songs

1. All Too Well
2. 22
3. Begin Again

Least Fave Song

1. Treacherous

I remember this album coming out when Dustin and I were up in Pittsburgh and I made him listen to it on repeat every time we were in our rental. These songs always remind me of fall. Also I loved her fashion aesthetic the most for this album. 

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10.27.2014

1989

Top 3 Songs

1. Blank Space
2. Bad Blood
3. Style

Least Fave Song

1. Shake It Off

Taylor moved completely to pop and it was (and still is) so appreciated. I'l always love her country roots but I think pop music really suits her. This album including the Target deluxe songs is perfection. 

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11.10.2017

reputation

Top 3 Songs

1. Delicate
2. New Years Day
3. Call It What You Want

Least Fave Song

1. ...Ready For It

This is probably my favorite Taylor CD as a whole. I love every single song (so choosing a least favorite was hard because it's still good!). 

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8.23.2019

Lover

Top 3 Songs

1. Lover
2. The Archer
3. You Need To Calm Down

Least Fave Song

1. ME!

I can't say much about Lover yet because I'm only working with 4 songs so far. I'll have a full review once I get to listen to the whole thing. So far so good though - minus ME! 

30 Day Writing Challenge: Nineteen

Nineteen
Five Fears That You Have

1. Rollercoasters - I hate them. They bring me zero joy. I don't like the feeling of my stomach dropping or going so fast you can't tell where you are. It's not even that I think it'll go off the tracks or I'll fall out - it's just a straight up phobia. 
2. Getting pregnant - I've been on birth control non-stop since I was 15 but still. 
3. Scary movies - I haven't seen a horror movie in 10+ years. They always stay with me and give me terribly nightmares and make me turn on all the lights like I'm a 5 year old. 
4. Being shot -  Mass shootings are just as American as a cheeseburger these days so this is something I think about daily. So much so that I tell Dustin I love him before leaving the car when just running into the store real quick. It's not a debilitating fear because I won't stop living my life but I'd be lying if I said I didn't think to myself every time I go somewhere "Will I be shot here?".
5. That Trump will be re-elected. 

30 Day Writing Challenge: Eighteen

Eighteen
Your Favorite Color And Why

I've always been loud and proud about my love of the color purple. Our wedding color was purple. I wanted to dye my hair purple until I realized dye and my skin do not see eye to eye. I used to have my teenage bedroom painted three shades. It ended up looking like a giant paint card you'd get at Lowe's and it was awesome. But I loved it. Any time I have a choice of a color whether it be my toothbrush or a tissue box I'm going to go for purple. Is it dumb? Probably. I'm not sure why I like it so much. I'm just drawn to it.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Seventeen

Seventeen
A Quote You Try To Live By

As an introvert I don't just say yes to all the things and figure it out. I think it through and pick carefully about what I believe will bring me the greatest joy. If an event is going to stress me out I decline. Simple. As. That. It took me a little while to be the person that says no to things but I'm so much happier that I can and do when needed. My time or lack thereof can make or break my emotional state so I do what I need to to protect myself.

TEN / NFG

Last month Dustin and I went to see The Early November and New Found Glory. Originally Kaycee and I were going to go together but she had to be out of town that weekend so I took Dustin along. I was so pumped TEN was one of the openers. I absolutely love going to shows and liking more than just the headliner. Ace mentioned that his wife, Jenn, had flown down from NJ to hang out for that particular show in Orlando. I follow her on Instagram although she isn't as active as she used to be. I was actually hoping I'd run into her so I could thank her. It was her who introduced me to Rebecca Woolf (Girls Gone Child) and then her who introduced me to Heather Armstrong (Dooce) over 10 years ago and thus began my blog obsession. But I didn't see them. So it goes.

New Found Glory not only played their hits but they performed the hell out of their covers. They even went all out with several outfit changes which is unusual at a punk rock show. I loved hearing 'Kiss Me' and King of Wishful Thinking' and 'Eye of the Tiger' AND AND AND. It just keeps going. The whole set was solid fucking gold. Those guys just keep killing it. I was pleasantly surprised to find out Ryan Key (of Yellowcard) was touring with them. When two Florida based pop punk bands collide!

It was a great night minus the part where Dustin almost got into a fight. Let me back up. So Dustin and I stood next to these two girls who had been there from the beginning, even before we arrived. They had staked their claim on that spot. Then comes this couple who stand right in front of them blocking their view. So Dustin goes up to the guy and asks him nicely to move explaining that they're blocking the girls. The guy refuses and says something about it being "general admission" as if that gives you a right to be an asshole. So Dustin calls him a bunch of names and comes back over. He was fuming. Then an older guy with a better vantage point than all four of us offered the two girls his spot so they'd be able to see without any trouble. It was one of those moments where humanity doesn't completely suck. Eventually the rude as couple left and we all got to enjoy the rest of the show.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Sixteen

Sixteen
Bullet Your Entire Day

• 5:35 - Wake up. Listen to Taylor's new song "Lover" before getting into shower. 
• 5:50 - Watch Taylor's lyric video for "Lover" and read all comments in my Swifterino FB group.
• 6:15 - Dry and straighten my hair. 
• 6:30 - Get dressed, brush teeth, etc. 
• 6:45 - Make lunch.
• 7:15 - Leave the house. 
• 7:30 - Go into work and...work.
• 12:00 - Eat lunch in my car while listening to My Favorite Murder. 
• 12:30 - Go to Publix to pick up water.
• 1:00 - Return to work and continue working. 
• 4:30 - Leave work.
• 4:33 - Arrive at Chick-fil-a for grilled nuggets. 
• 4:45 - Get on I-4 headed west. 
• 5:15 - Arrive at The Lovely Boutique to kill time until Alyssa arrives. 
• 5:40 - Find parking and walk to the Evening Exchange with Alyssa. 
• 5:50 - Buy my very first Gideon's cookies. 
• 6:00 - Buy two plants. 
• 6:10 - Buy gator and oranges print. 
• 6:20 - Walk around to see other vendors. 
• 6:50 - Leave event. 
• 7:15 - Stop at Walgreens to grab milk for cookies. 
• 7:25 - Arrive at home to find Dustin parked in my parking spot. He moves, helps me bring all my wares inside, and we eat previously mentioned cookies. 
• 7:51 - The exact time I'm writing this sentence right now.