Brevard Zoo

Late last year Rachelle asked me about going to the zoo before the weather got too hot. Well January was freezing in Florida but February has been overly warm. (Side rant: Why are our only options 40 degrees or 90? Where is the middle of the road 70 degree weather? I can tell you where it's not: FLORIDA.) So we planned on going the second weekend of February. It was going to be warm but we decided to go right when they open to minimize the grossness. Dustin and I got there about 15 minutes before the Bentons. There was already a line to get in the place. Zoo was hoppin'!

I had never been to the Brevard Zoo as far as I could remember. I certainly have never been in my adult life. It was so nice (word on the street was on point!) and, thankfully, very shaded. Addilyn got to feed a giraffe which was so neat! We saw rhinos, a large snake (possibly a python?), meerkats, kangaroo, American crocodile, and so much more. They have a double aviary where you can feed the birds.  Matt and Rachelle got the food for both and Addilyn got really into feeding the cockatiels. It was fun to watch. I unintentionally joined in on the action when a bird decided to land on my head. I surprisingly didn't freak out. I was super chill on the outside but inside I was a hot mess. Dustin and Rachelle got some great pictures of it and then before we knew it the bird moved on to another head. 

We ended our time with a little train ride. It doesn't really go far and there isn't a whole lot to look at but Dilyn was all about it. We didn't make the first train ride and she was not having it. It's hard to understand when you're only 2 that the train goes in a circle and will be right back. She was so pumped to see it come back. That thing is such a tight fit but we made it work. Anything for that girl. 

The zoo was great in and of itself but it was even more fun to experience through her. She freaked out in the most excited way when she saw the jaguar. I'm so mad I didn't catch her reaction on video. She pet the dinosaur and various other enclosures and would say "Good boy, good boy". It was the cutest. 

We decided to drop by Dixie Crossroads since it was on our way home. Rock shrimp for all!

It was such a fun day but good grief was I sore the next day! WORTH. IT. 

 

 

Lasik & Grenades

photo

A couple weeks ago I made an appointment to see if I would be a candidate for Lasik.

I got a lot of "But I thought you liked wearing glasses." Yeah I (mostly) do.

Buuuuuut.
Unfortunately there are a lot of buts.

I have been wearing glasses since I was 13. They are completely a part of my identity. When you think of me, aren't "glasses" one of the first words that come to mind to describe me physically? Exactly. My glasses are me but I didn't necessarily want to be my glasses anymore even though I am probably one of the few that can say I feel prettier IN glasses than without them. I mean, I wore them on my wedding day. As much as I love them they also can annoy the shit out of me.

Having them sit on my face 16ish hours every single day sometimes causes headaches or pain behind my ears. Not being able to lay down comfortably when I want to lounge is annoying. Having to pat down my nightstand each morning to find my actual eyeballs has grown tiresome. The eye appointments. The expense. The change in my prescription every visit. It's all just exhausting sometimes.

You will all think I'm certifiable when I tell you WHAT specifically pushed me to make this appointment. It all started with me listening to a My Favorite Murder minisode wherein Georgia and Karen read emails from listeners about all kinds of stuff from murder to kidnappings to finding weird shit in your walls. Anyway there was one story in particular that struck a chord. A woman wrote in that she had stayed late at work (she is a teacher) and as she walked to her car in the empty parking lot when a guy started running at her with a knife. He told her to get in the car and that's when he took her glasses off and threw them in the backseat. He drives for a bit and then stops somewhere and tells her not to move or he'd kill her. You know, the usual. So she waits a few seconds after he's gotten out of the car and climbs in the driver's seat BLIND AS A BAT and just hauls ass out of there. She made it without having an accident and totally SSDGM. You can listen to the episode (MFM Minisode 53) by clicking here.

But jesus christ that story scared the shit out of me. Enough so that I made an appointment the same day I listened to it for the following week. Also I have put a pair of extra glasses in my glove box because you can never be too prepared for anything.

I went to Hunter Vision in Maitland per the recommendation of my friend Ed who had them do his Lasik a few years back. The office is located inside RDV and is so hard to find that they have a video on their website to show you how to get there from the parking lot. Sadly, I had to use said video. It's a very confusing complex. I'm used to the Ice Den side not the medical side. They got me right in and started giving me all kinds of eye tests - pressure tests, distance tests, lenses tests, and finally they dilated my eyes which I fucking hate with a passion but I knew it was necessary. The doctor came in and explained a bunch of eye mumbo jumbo using a little 3D model eyeball. The short of it is I am not a candidate for Lasik because my near-sidedness is so severe. However, I would be a candidate for ICL which is similar but way more expensive. Of course. ICL stands for implantable collamer lense. It's basically placing a permanent contact in your eye. It's apparently the same recovery and similar procedure as Lasik but like $4K more. HA! So I thanked them all for their time and walked out. I even asked if I needed special glasses due to my eyes still being dilated and it being bright as hell outside and they were all "No no, you should be fine."

Spoiler alert: I WAS NOT FINE.

I could barely get to my car because I was squinting so goddamn much. What were they thinking? I called Dustin and whined to him about how unsafe it is to let someone drive back to work blind. He had the genius idea to put his sunglasses (that he leaves in my car because I drive everywhere) over my regular glasses to help block out the sun. OMG it worked. I mean I was still straining but it was at least manageable and I didn't get into an accident.

I both wanted to be and not be a candidate for Lasik. Does that make sense? Like I want perfect or near perfect or even half perfect vision but I also didn't want to lose my identity in the process. So when they told me I wasn't a candidate I was both relieved and disappointed which is the same reaction I would have had if I were a candidate. I'm glad I have a definite answer now. There isn't a "what if?" floating around my brain about it anymore.

So there you have it folks. I'll be wearing glasses until I'm dead or at least until I win the lottery.

And the good news is I won't have to change my blog name to "Lasik & Grenades!". Phew!

Lana Del Rey

Full disclosure: I wasn't super into Lana pre-concert but now I'm 100% on board. 

I have always liked Lana. I downloaded 'Video Games' the minute I heard it all those years ago. I've been down with 'Summertime Sadness' and 'Young and Beautiful' but that's kind of where it stopped for me. Not for any reason other than I just haven't given most of her music a proper listen. But when Katie asked me to go with her to the concert I was all "totes!". She gave me a list of her favorite songs and I started to listen to them. So many good ones!

I was excited to go to the concert but I was more excited to spend the night with Katie. Do you ever have that thing where you're not totally into something but your BFF or husband or whomever is SO into it that you can't help but be sucked in too? Yeah, well that happened with me. Katie looked so damn pretty in her flower crown (I want one now!) and her 'Lana Del Bae' shirt that I was just so pumped for her.

She came over to my house after work and we headed downtown. The traffic was strangely non-existent and we got right off the Amway exit and parked without issue. We both thought it was going to be way warmer outside than it actually was. We had to walk several blocks without any kind of cardigan or jacket to get to Harry Buffalo. I know I know, rough lives we're living over here. We got seated and ordered our meal even though they kept screwing up Katie's order. The food itself was great and it was a cute atmosphere. It was my first time checking it out but I'll definitely be back especially since it's in such close proximity to Amway.

We arrived mid-opening act which was not great. I honestly don't even remember their name. Katie and I were all just "Where the hell is Lana?". She took the stage at 9:20pm which we all know is almost my bed time. It was quite the struggle to stay awake but I made it. Lana wore these sparkly boots that caught the light perfectly. It was the first thing we both noticed. She sang 20 something songs. It was definitely a more low key vibe which I'm not too used to. Usually the shows I've gone to are very high energy with dancing and screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs but this was just straight up chill which isn't necessarily a bad thing. So chill that people kept smoking the weed. I don't give a fuck what people smoke but to do it in a public place where no one can leave is just rude and selfish. You do you but can you do you at home please? Kthxbye. Speaking of rude people, there were two guys in our row that kept getting up which meant we would have to stop what we were doing (recording/talking/enjoying). There was a moment one of the guys tried to get my attention to get up to let him back in the row and all you hear on the video clip is me saying "Noooooo". You can't inconvenience me during Video Games. What is your deal dude?! Lana was so sweet and spent a good 5 minutes (maybe more) out n the crowd talking to and taking selfies with fans. Katie and I had a great time but WE OLD. WE TIRED. We just wanted to get into our beds by the end of the night.

I don't understand the purpose of OPD closing certain streets (maybe having to do with the kidnapping threat?) but in doing so they funneled us all into the bad part of town instead of letting us just get right on I-4. So we had to go the long way. I tried getting on I-4 down the road but the ramp was closed thanks to the never-ending construction and the detour took us in a giant circle. I was so annoyed. At that point I decided to bypass I-4 altogether. Fuck it.

 

Amazing time seeing my favorite artist @lanadelrey shoving my way to the front and getting this awesome video 💕 To all the people who I pissed off/cut off, I’m not sorry 🤗 #lanadelrey #lanadelreyorlando #lanadelreyconcert #videogames

A post shared by Marta Anna ♎️ (@martalifts) on Feb 3, 2018 at 10:03am PST

LA➡️THE MOON 🌙 . . Seeing my favorite singer for the first time after discovering her and loving her for the last five years was transformative. I’ve changed so much as a person since I first heard her music, and Lana has always been apart of my daily musical repertoire. She’s influenced so much of my life and thinking. Thank you for doing what you do, Lana. You’re a blessing to our world ❤️🌹 @lanadelrey #LanaDelRey #latothemoontour #latothemoon #lustforlife #amwaycenter #lanadelreyorlando

A post shared by B.🌻 (@blusk_) on Feb 3, 2018 at 3:02pm PST