Found

A whole lot of links for your entertainment. ENJOY!

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My cousin was in the paper talking about dinosaur footprints! You know, no big deal. Always so proud of her.

Please donate to Shannon and her family.

Grow Old Like The Golden Girls

Why aren't millenials having kids? 8 Insights to child-free life

The Crawley family is back...

First look at the newest rendition of Little Women. Pumped!

Shows Christian Kids Weren't Allowed to Watch. This is both hilarious and really sad/scary.

The 'Undesirable Militants' Behind the Nineteeth Amendment

Here's to hoping Queenie finds new love at Lake Eola

These Strangers Things posters are everything.

20 Historical Photos of Cats And Their Soldiers in WWI and WWII

Michelle Obama aka Team USA vs. James Corden aka Team UK play dodgeball.

According to Research, Being a Cat Lady is Actually Good For You

An American In Iceland Found A Lump On Her Body

Facebook's Nudity Policy Challenged

Down With Kids

Ride the new Hagrid Motorbike ride at Universal without the 8+ hour wait.

25 Things To Do In Orlando. I had no idea we had an Axe Throwing venue or a nudist resort.

Man in the Window. For anyone who is as obsessed with The Golden State killer as I am.

Another hilarious photoshoot.

54 Things Absolutely Nobody Should be Storing, Anywhere. I feel attacked.

GOT may have ended terribly but it was shot beautifully

Pete Buttigieg Gets Standing Ovation on FOX

Try It & Save Money: A Once-A-Month Only No-Spend Weekend

How It Feels To Have Anxiety And Depression At The Same Time

Obsessed with this house in Santa Rosa, FL from 1925. Fuck new construction.

U.S. Births Fell To A 32 Year Low in 2018; CDC Says Birthrate Is In Record Slump

Hands Off!

Save a life. Kill your boner.

Sex Ed for Senators

Photo Series Asks Women To Talk About Their Abortions

Rebecca FUCKING Woolf. The best read about this whole abortion mess.

All the best signs at the abortion rights protest in downtown Orlando

The Thirty Fourth Trip Around

My 34th Flag Day fell on a Friday this year which is pretty perfect. I took the day off work just so I could self-care it up. I got a pedicure (ahh) and went shopping (oooh) for the first half of the day. It was so nice just to have a chill day with myself. In between all of my fun I got texts and phone calls from everyone I love. I'm not a person who loves a ton of attention but my face lit up more and more with each person that reached out to me. My mom told me I was born at 2:30 pm which fell right in the middle of As The World Turns. Born during one soap and named after a character on another. Do Gen Z-ers even know what a soap opera is? I'd bet money they don't. Another confirmation of my "old age". No, I'm not old but I technically fall in the mid-30s category now which is a little weird. I'm not one to freak out over age and all of that but I do totally get when a 50 year old says "I feel like I'm 22." because yeah I may be 34 but I don't feel it. Maybe we all just have these preconceived notions about how we are "supposed" to feel, who we are supposed to be, what we are supposed to have accomplished at certain ages. I'm just so thankful for this little life of mine and all those who are apart of it no matter how small or big a role.

Dustin and I went out to an early dinner (we like to hit up restaurants when the 65 and older crowd is there). We came home and I took a nap (on purpose) and Dustin took one accidentally. I could not have asked for a more perfect chill birthday. 

So I had this epiphany about creating little goodie bags for those who were coming to my birthday festivities the following day. Katie was like "um YOU'RE the one supposed to be getting presents". I mean, yeah, I suppose but I really like showing my people how much I appreciate them. And in this particular case I appreciated everyone who gave up a Saturday night to spend it with this total straight edge mid-30s nerd. 

One side of the bags had a Taylor Swift lyric and the other side had a cat with a different MFM sticker quote. Basically all things I love wrapped up in one. The bags were totally random but I included a thank you note, some temporary tattoos, Flag Day inspired sunglasses, a sweet treat, and a mixed fucking CD that was titled "FUCK YOUR SPOTIFY PLAYLIST". Ha!

 
 
 

The first stop of the night was Ollie's Public House located right next to my alma mater. Talk about a weird full circle kind of moment. Long gone are the days I was sneaking off campus to go to McDonalds, actually long gone are the original buildings...but I digress. High school truly seems like several lifetimes ago. I mean, look at me now, all "grown up" and shit. 

We ate, some people drank, and we all rocked out to the live musician who sang all 90s songs which I totally appreciated. I opened all of my gifts and got the coolest shit: Post Malone enamel pin, T-Swift earrings, a new plant baby, a cat shaped picture frame, political postcards, etc. My friends are kind of the best. 

 
 
 

The next stop on the Ashley party train was ice-cream! I had driven by The Soda Fountain the last time I got my hair cut down the road and made a mental note to check it out at some point. Across the street is this beautiful Orlando/Florida inspired mural that we all just HAD to take photos in front of because as Mr. Kate would say - WHY NOT? None of us knew what we were doing and all just winged some poses to make it look like we were some kind of professional content person of the inter web. And to be honest think we all killed it. 

I'd like to interrupt my own blog to talk about the jumpsuit/romper situation you see me in below. I got it at Old Navy and tried it on as a joke. Like I thought this is cute but there's no way i can pull it off but i'll try it on because WHY NOT. I put it on and kind of felt amazing in it. Then Katie facetimed me while in the dressing room and she convinced me to go for it. It's totally not something I usually wear (because I don't have the body to usually pull it off not ever because I don't want to). The print is bright and girly and totally has TS7 vibes. It shows a bit of cleavage even! Who even am I?! It felt like pajamas the whole night mixed with a little swamp crotch (thanks a lot Florida heat and humidity you wretched cunt). I loved how easy it was to move around that I just keep squatting like I was in a boyband photoshoot. WHATEVS. Now back to your regularly scheduled birthday blog post. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               






 

The final stop of the night was to Ivanhoe Brewing. 

But Ashley, you don't even drink. Why would you go to a brewery?
BECAUSE I CAN AND WANTED TO. 

I had been here once before for my book club and loved the atmosphere and big tables (great for playing games on which was the main reason I chose this place). We could all play games and those that wanted to drink could enjoy that as well. I figured it was a win-win. And it was. 

We played a new-to-us game called For The Girls that is a mix of a lot of different things like Truth or Dare, speed rounds, and Never Have I Ever. It was pretty fun! We also played Cards Against Humanity for a bit.  Lots of laughs were had and embarrassing texts to a couple mothers. A dare is a dare, right?

We all met the SWEETEST dog. She was so friendly we all wanted to take her home but thankfully she already has a very loving family. We actually came across several dogs over the course of the evening and I have zero complaints. ZERO. More dogs, everywhere. 

The night was just as I had hoped it would be - easy going, inappropriate, and filled with cackles (you know that laugh that is so hard that your head flings back and gives you a double chin but you don't care because you're having too much fun? THAT.)

Thanks ladies. You're all a good time. 

 

Dustin Says

Me: Blah blah talking about Saved by the Bell.
Dustin: Yeah, Screech's girlfriend, Scratch.
Me: Her name was Violet not Scratch.

You know what's made me a proponent for assisted suicide? Life.

Me: Don't be a little shit.
Dustin: You're basically telling me not to be myself.

Me: Fuck, I clogged the toilet.
Dustin: You're the Britney of toilets...(starts singing)...oops you did it again.

On the phone with Dustin...
Me singing in morning traffic: Don't let them get in. It's their own fault they didn't merge over again.
Dustin: What a jingle. You should get signed to Fat Fish Records. Maybe play at the Smash Club.

Flo Show, Fo Sho

Last Saturday Katie came over and we went to see Rocketman. I gave her my free (birthday) drink and popcorn, the theater was packed, and we sang quietly under our breath the whole time. It was a great movie. Taron Egerton deserves all the awards just as Rami Malek did for Bohemian Rhapsody.

From there we drove in a monsoon (I swear it always pours when we hang out) to The Glass Knife. We were one of the very lucky couples to snag the coveted black booth. That booth makes me feel VIP as fuck. We both got the chicken pot pie (Keto who?) and dessert. I got the orange cake which was basically an orange creamsicle in cake form times a million. It was to die for.

 



 
   

Then it was off to Amway to see Katie's girl Flo. Katie is an OG fan. She's loved her (like LOVED her) since the very beginning. I remember hearing Dog Days Are Over for the first time and liking it but that's where it ended for me - at least until a few years ago. Then Katie hyped Flo up so much I gave her a proper listen. Then, I too, was all about her. And after seeing her live I am officially a true fan.

Grace Vanderwaal (winner of America's Got Talent) opened the show. Girl is fifteen and killed it. She had such a presence while performing and her strong, raspy voice was so captivating. She played her uke, danced barefoot while she sang every song, and looked fierce as hell in a funky cute 70s inspired dress with lots of different bold patterns. Also can we talk about her short little bob with two long braids in the front?! Like I would have never thought to do something like that but I totally love it. She rocks it. I enjoyed her before I saw her live but now I'm all in - following her on Instagram and ready to buy her next single when it drops in a couple weeks.

photos

Florence or Flo as I endearingly like to refer to her was mesmerizing from the second she ran barefooted on to the stage. She and Grace really compliment each other in that each one comes across as a little shy and soft spoken when talking to the crowd but the minute they start to sing these powerful voices come roaring out. 

With each song Flo ran and danced and rocked the fuck out. Her music isn't necessarily the genre you'd associate with rocking out but believe me when she does and she makes you as a fan want to do the same. She has wind machines on the stage that always blew her hair and see-through dress just so making for an even more dramatic performance.

In between songs she once told everyone to put their phones away and hug the person next to them. She spoke about the ACLU being on tour with her and how "heartbroken she is for American women". She was given a Pride flag by those at the front of the stage and proudly held it in the air before dancing around with it for the rest of her You've Got The Love performance. She was incredible the entire time. I'm so glad I got to experience it with Katie.

Orlando Weekly wrote a lovely article about that night as well.