Dustin Says

It's like how I feel about people from high school; most of them were fine but I don't care if I ever see them again. 

Cheeto has main character energy. 

Voldemort wore a moo moo. 

If I got a work-from-home job it would just be a "from-home" because I wouldn't do any work. 

Dustin: I got an Arnold Palmer - ya know half lemonade, half tea. 
Me: You mean half good and half bad?

Your bones sound like you're walking in the forest snapping twigs. 

I pulled some toys out for Olive because she was playing with a piece of mulch. 

You're so cranky you're basically a model T. 

The Bitch is 38

Last weekend, you would've thought Elton himself showed up at my door, or according to Dustin - Rick Flair. Katie really outdid herself, but we all say that every year. And every year it's true! She went hard from the DIY jacket to the glasses. It was a vibe. 

Angela and Brittany met us at my place so I could responsibly drive us all downtown. I had a cooler in the back seat filled with water and snacks. I take my Uber/sober sister driving very seriously and always a proud "mom" of every group I'm in. 

We did a little photoshoot at the Sunrail station, which was on our way to our final destination, Hamburger Mary's. I'm no profesh but I was very happy with how Katie's photos turned out. The bitch was WERKING.

We went inside at 7 pm on the dot per the instructions we were given at the time the reservation was scheduled. Thankfully the whole "won't seat your party until all have arrived" didn't hold up and they took us right to our table. We got right to making ourselves at home with accessorizing in Elton glasses (the whole reason I wore contacts) and boas. The boas only lasted about a few photos and five minutes due to the establishment deeming them a "fire hazard". LOL So we quickly put put them all away and continued on with our fabulous evening. 

We got to opening presents before the show started and I was SO excited for Katie to open my gift for her. I came across this phone, sent it to Katie, and of course she replied with "I HAVE TO HAVE IT". Easy peasy. I also added in a Roman Roy car air freshener because that is her boy. 

Before the show started we made a run to the bathroom and ordered our food. We were READY. Katie, Kaycee, and I had been there before but it was everyone else's first time. All of the ladies were amazing but we all especially had heart-eyes for Katy Perry/Lady Gaga. She had the most incredible costumes and of course we were all dying over her sparkly red lipstick (which she so generously gave us a tutorial on after the show). We all danced to pop hits and laughed at jokes about dicks. Towards the end, everyone who was there celebrating an event got called on stage and each got a chance to shake it, which Katie did flawlessly while our table cheered her on. It was all such a good time. 

Before we headed out, we were all going to use the bathroom again, but the plumbing was out of wack and the toilets were backing up. BARF. We all walked the party across the street to use the wonderful restrooms at Harry Buffalo. The Magic game had just finished so downtown was extra busy. We hung outside with Kaycee so she didn't have to pay that crazy surge charge for her Uber. Our after party was us all standing on the street dancing to mid-2000's jams. 

After everyone left safely me and my little ducklings walked back to my car. The thing I didn't expect was the conversation we had on the way back to my house. That conversation then continued for a good hour in my driveway. Just four girls talking about our own real life shit. There's nothing quite like being vulnerable in a safe place by people who actually listen. It was quite the cherry on top of an already perfect night. 

Happiest birthday to my extra Tiny Dancer. You're still standing. I love you!

 

               

Dustin Says

You have a bedtime of a kindergartener. 

You know, the green grapes taste better but the red ones are more visually appealing.

Me selling Dustin on a mushroom decomposition suit when we die...

Dustin: Yeah, I'm in and we can get little ones for Cheeto and Olive. 
Me: I don't think they do it for pets. 
Dustin: THEY ARE NOT PETS, THEY ARE FAMILY. 

I tightened my mask so I didn't have to breathe the same air as you. 

Dustin: I mean, it's Taylor Swift's birthday. 
Me: OMG YOU KNEW THAT?
Dustin: Yeah, you wrote it on our calendar. 

Ohio is just West Virginia with teeth. 

That shit was so fast and furious Vin Diesel is trying to take credit for it. 

The Eras Tour has begun

Unless you are living under a rock, and honestly even those guys probably know; Taylor's Eras Tour began on Friday, 3/17/23. Ping Pong balls of what I think she will play have been bouncing around in my head for months. So, I made a list on my phone of what she will most likely play and what I hope she actually plays. I was going off previous tours where she played around 20 songs total. Imagine the excitement on my round pale little face when I read the set list is 44 songs long. FORTY FOUR. All the ones highlighted below made the cut. 

                                    Most Likely             My Pick                                 

Self Titled                  Our Song                Should've Said no        

Fearless                       Love Story              Love Story

Speak Now                 Enchanted               Enchanted  

Red                             ATW 10 Min           ATW 10 min

                                   WANGBT               IBYTAM

1989                           Shake It Off            Blank Space

                                   Style                        New Romantics

Reputation                 LWYMMD              I Did Something Bad

                                  Gorgeous                 Delicate

Lover                        Cruel Summer         Cruel Summer

                                   The Man                Miss Americana

Folklore                     Cardigan                 TLGAD

                                   August                    Mad Woman

                                   Betty                       Mirrorball

Evermore                   Willow                   Long Story Short

                                   Champagne Probs  Champagne Probs

Midnights                   Anti-Hero               Anti-Hero

                                    Bejeweled               Maroon

                                    Midnight Rain        Lavender Haze

                                    Karma                     Karma

I'm most surprised by Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince because no one ever talks about this beauty except me. So, the fact it opens the damn show is mind-blowing. I'm shocked there is only one Speak Now song on the entire set list but I did see some theories about that regarding streaming and what not. I am really excited there are so many folklore and evermore songs. I didn't think she'd go that hard with either album and I'm so pumped about it. Three full hours of Taylor songs?! April cannot come fast enough. 

I'm still on the fence about my Eras Tour outfit but I have narrowed it down to two options - mirrorball and midnights. May the best fit win. 

And speaking of mirrorballs, I never posted about my first (of probably many) Taylor inspired tattoos. On NYE I went to my girl Angela for a snake (rep!) with a mirrorball (folklore) in it's mouth. She wanted to add flowers around it so it has more of a frame which I agreed to. When she asked me what type of flowers I wanted, I sent her the 2021 Grammy's dress and then she created this beauty.