Death By 10,000 Cuts

To say Dustin and I have had a rough month is a bit of an understatement. I mean, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. From car accidents to a death to family issues to house issues to illnesses. IT HAS BEEN ROUGH. And still we know, it could be so much worse. It can always be worse. I cannot wait to say goodbye to September because quite frankly it hasn't been any fun.

Dustin and I aren't beach people. I enjoy the beach here and there. And he tolerates the beach, for me. But we've been going to the gulf coast once a year for awhile now. This year we had to change up the location because I forgot to book our normal Siesta Key hotel 6 months in advance. So by the time I did get around to booking, the only rooms left were incredibly expensive. I decided to book something in Clearwater back in July thinking it wouldn't be too much different. I have been before and remember it being really nice.

After dealing with the shit that has been September, we decided we didn't really feel up to going any more. So two weeks ago I actually tried to cancel our reservation. They required a cancellation 30 days in advance in order to get a full refund. It was either eat the hotel cost or go and try and have a good time. We chose the latter.

Saturday we set out early. By the time we got into town it was around 10:30 and Dustin was starving. I always eat breakfast the minute I get up but it takes him awhile. We stopped at Bob Evans. I know, I had the same reaction. I'm not saying I'm better than Bob Evans, I'm just saying there are better places. Dustin assured me it would be just as good as Cracker Barrel or IHOP. It wasn't bad but certainly nothing special.

Now that we were super stuffed, we headed to the Clearwater Marine Aquarium; where movie stars Winter and Hope of Dolphin Tale (and Dolphin Tale 2) call home. I've of course seen both movies. Top notch animal films along the quality of Homeward Bound, Andre, and Flipper. I've actually been begging Dustin for years to go visit Winter (and now Hope). If you don't know the story, Winter was caught in a crab trap which resulted in the loss of part of her tail. She was eventually fitted for a silicone tail that helps her swim normally. She has lived at the Clearwater Aquarium ever since. The aquarium also took in Hope after she was found at only a couple months old next to her dead mother. So now they are best friends. I just find it so awesome that they found each other.

I've been to a lot of aqauriums and this one certainly stands out in it's rehabilitation. They seem to put the rehab first and the "attractions" last which is pretty refreshing. It's not the prettiest aquarium but it's just as cool as the big ones. We got to see turtles, otters, a Pelican, and of course Winter. We watched Winter play with two kids for a good 25 minutes. The instructor would let one of the kids spray Winter with a hose. They both loved it. The kids were able to pet and feed Winter too. It was such a cool and intimate interaction.

We had some time to waste before checking in to our hotel so we decided to go up the road and check out the local mall. This mall was pretty damn nice and to top it off it had an ice skating rink in the middle! Dustin and I were so impressed by this. We just stood by and watched everyone skate around.

I have been to Clearwater before but I must be romanticizing it in my memory because the reality did not live up to what I had envisioned in my head. It's kind of become (or maybe always was) the Daytona of the gulf coast. It's certainly no Siesta Key. The traffic is worst than Orlando and the people are pretty douchey. It just wasn't the atmosphere I was hoping it to be.

I could sugar coat the trip and say we had a great time but we didn't. There were moments of fun but overall it just wasn't great. The weight of all the bullshit is still holding us down. And then more bullshit in the form of my A/C going in and out and me getting really sick was the breaking point of the trip we didn't even care to be on. For a lot of reasons, but mostly because I wasn't feeling good and wanted to be in my own bed, we headed home that same night. Dustin described this month perfectly, calling it "death by 10,000 cuts". A lot of little things just keep adding up and chipping away at us. I'm glad that I have Dustin to go through all this shit with. It's hard but better together. Come on October, show us a good time!

Currently

Listening to: Ryan Adams cover of 1989. Yes, he covered Taylor Swift's entire album. It's cool in the fact that a well known musician covered another well known HUGE pop musician. Sure people cover a song here and there but an entire album? So anyway, Ryan brings a more melancholy/indie vibe to his version and it totally works. Of course no one can top Taylor's original tracks but he makes it his own and I've been really enjoying it. Here are a couple of my favorite of his: Blank Space / How You Get The Girl / I Know Places

Enjoying: Baby shopping for Rachelle and Matt's little girl. I haven't bought anything for a baby in years and years because I'm not close to anyone who has babies. So there was never any reason. But now I'm back in the baby shopping game and loving it. There is just so many cute clothes and stuff and AHH! I also made her something that I CANNOT wait to give them and of course share here on my blog. It's probably one of my most favorite items I've ever made. Is it November yet?!

In Tattoo News: This has been the itchiest son of a gun. It's almost completely healed but there's still a lot of itch and some minor peeling. I hate the healing part of getting a tattoo and I'm glad this is almost over, but I'll be back in the chair in a month, so it will be very short lived. I had to buy a new racerback style bra. It's typically not my favorite because it just doesn't have the coverage I need but it's been working like a charm. It's holding things in and not rubbing or irritating my tattoo. So win win! It's the only  Every time I see it as I walk by a mirror or I'm getting dressed I think to myself "Wow, you actually did it! Hell yeah!". It's not even completed and I'm in love. 

Watching: Don't Trust The B----- In Apt. 23 - Let's be clear that I only put those dashes there because that's the official name. I'm not afraid to write out the word bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Anyway, on to the show. Katie suggested I give this one a try but warned me it's only two seasons long and ends abruptly. I told her I could handle it. We'll see if that's true once I get to the end. It's been my go-to show to watch while on the elliptical. It's fun, hilarious, and only 23 min long which means I can get in one episode and some change with every cardio workout. Chloe is in every way bitchy but totally awesome. She says or does all the things you've thought about doing but are too chicken to. June's naivety is cute and James Van Der Beek is actually a really good actor (not that he wasn't in Dawson's Creek but you know what I mean...). My favorite character is Luther! I can't believe the show only laster two seasons.

Up In The Air - I watched this one on Netflix about a week ago and really enjoyed it. I remember it got a lot of hype when it was first released. And yes it's good and worth a watch but not hype good. The thing that's great is most people watch it because George is in it but the real star is Anna Kendrick. She's just so incredible talented and steals the show in every movie she's in, including this one. Just a warning the ending is, well, kind of a shocker.

photo

Found

The most loved states according to Instagram. NY #1? Ehh.

Lip Sync Battle: Jimmy vs Ellen

40 Unique Anatomical Heart Tattoos

20 People Who Don't Believe In Their Job But Still Fucking Do It

This vintage kitchen is a dream. Heart eyes for days!

This Harry Potter engagement story is so sweet.

Felicity vs Dawson's Creek I happen to love them both but Felicity will always be #1.

These photos will make you believe in love.

An ode to my '90s TV boyfriends.

This little girl is incredibly wise.  We should all take her advice.

Dogs are awesome.

This Humans of New York post is very interesting to me. I've got to agree.

Guys really do get better with age. Well, most of them.

Emmy's Fashion

Emma Roberts - She looks like she's straight out of old Hollywood. I love the hair to the side in waves and the dress cut and color. The nude looks really great against her skin.

Amy Poehler - I'm really digging Amy's new darker hair. I also love how she kept it pretty casual. I love the cut out of the dress. It's such a classy and sexy look. 

Maggie Gyllenhaal - This is probably my favorite dress of the night. When I saw her step onto the red carpet and got a glimpse of the back I was all kinds of excited. It's got everything I could ever want in a dress. It shows skin but isn't trashy. It's form fitting top and poufy bottom is the perfect combo. And the tie in the back is just the cherry on top. Oh, and it's purple. Mic drop. 

 

Lady Gaga - I'm not a Lady Gaga fan. Not her music or her crazy fashion. With that being said I thought she looked stunning last night. So glamorous. I love how her dress dropped down to show off her tattoos perfectly. 

Taraji Henson - So when I first saw the chain straps I was all ehh. But they have kind of grown on me. It's not my personal style but it definitely works. The rest of the dress is 100% on point. There's another little cut out. Love!

Amanda Peet - Another cut out! AHH! I love the flowery detail but I'm glad it's all one color because otherwise I think it would be too over the top. 

Joanne Froggatt - How beautiful does Anna Bates look?! She looks so different on Downton Abbey that this seems so drastic but in the best possible way. And guess what this dress has? You guess it, cut outs! Multiple cut outs! 

Uzo Aduba - Here's another actress I almost didn't recognize because it's such a change from her character on Orange Is The New Black. I love how this dress brings a little funk. It's playful and the fit really compliments her. 

Gwendoline Christie - Wow. Just wow. She looks like a real life Greek Goddess. I love that she played up her pale skin. Pale is just as pretty (if not prettier) than tanned skin. It's just a flawless look from head to toe. I can't get over it. 

Jane Lynch/Abigail Savage - I really love when women wear suits to these events. I love Jane's sleek and modern take. Abigail's suit is a little more punk rock but just as glamorous. I'd totally try and rock both of these. 

Ariel Winter - I cannot believe how grown up Ariel is. I love red on her and the cut at the top of the dress is perfect. 

Sarah Hyland - This girl is making me want to cut my hair so bad. Again, I think this is a perfect color for her. I love the hour glass shape too!

Noland Gould/Rico Rodriguez - What can I say, Modern Family brought their fashion A-Game. Nolan always has superb fashion taste. I like that he always goes for something a little different. He pulls it off every time.

John Bennett - I love the midnight blue against the black. So sharp!

Sophia Vergara/Joe Manganiello - I'm sure I'm the only person in the world who thinks Sophia shows cleavage far too often which is why I loved this dress on her. She's covered but still sexy as hell. The gold just pops. And Joe? It's impossible for him to look bad. Those super fitted pants are really doing it for me. 

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eleven twelve / thirteen / fourteen / fifteen  sixteen / seventeen

What I Wore #32

I love baseball tees. They are always so comfortable and simple! I also really love the longer sleeve look. This shirt is pretty new. I found it at Forever 21 and had to have it. Perfect price. Perfect fit. I like to call it "put-together-casual". Ha! Also, the colors scream fall to me, even though I was about to start sweating bullets just in the time it took to pose for these photos. For an outfit like this it's all about the hair. If I wore it in a regular old pony tail then I would have been super casual but the top knot/bun/cronut helped it look a little more put together (in my opinion at least). I've already decided this will be this weekend's look as well. It's just too good. 

T-shirt: Forever 21

Jeans: Old Navy

Flip Flops: Amazon (Sanuk)

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8/10/15
Renting is annoying but I don't want to buy. All that is left is a cardboard box.

8/14/15
Why is every single HelloGiggles article split into two pages? It drives me crazy.

I just googled "when should someone use a knee sleeve?" and now I feel like I'm 85.

All I ever do on Facebook anymore is hide Trump and Kardashian articles. Get off my feed!

I've been holding onto a secret for a long time...I didn't like Tina Fey's Bossypants. But I sure as hell wanted to. #unpopularopinion

8/18/15
Just had two bites of questionable yogurt. Now I'm in a full on panic.

I want to be a Pierogi with glasses for Halloween. Only the Pirates can make this dream come true.

8/20/15
Did you guys know fannypacks are now called "waist packs"?

8/23/15
It's 10:30am and I've already eaten breakfast, finished a book, gone to the gym, and showered. At this rate I'll be napping in 30 min.

It's that time of year when movie previews scare the shit out of me. Too much for a commercial! Forever closing my eyes.

8/25/15
I get that zits have to be noticeable or painful but why BOTH?! That's just ridiculous.

I didn't even know Alison Brie and Dave Franco were dating.

8/26/15
I love all the dog pics in my various feeds today. Every day should be National Dog Day!

8/27/15
"Old hatreds dissolve into new friendships." - Michael Scott

8/28/15
"Apology rejected." - Dwight Shrute

8/29/15
If you and your significant other can survive canoeing AND putting together something from Ikea, chances are you'll go the distance.

8/30/15
There is such a thing as "over-posting". Don't do it. UNLESS you're on vacation or a huge life event has just occurred.

9/2/15
Really bummed that I can't find any good new fall shows. Nothing but shit anymore. I miss Parenthood!

"I can't feel my face when I'm with you." #topnotchlyrics

There's got to be an app. I can download that makes Kardashian posts puppy posts instead. Anyone?

9/5/15
If you can't grow a beard, don't.

Football inspired indie band name: Patience in the Pocket

9/9/15
When I am forced to walk/limp like a weirdo due to my foot being asleep, I just pretend I'm a zombie.

9/14/15
Is that a very slight yet really noticeable nip in the air I feel?!

A Tattoo Story: Part I

I've mentioned the urge to check long standing to-do list items off my list since turning 30. And this past weekend I've started the process in the form of a cover-up tattoo.

I got my lightning bolt tattoo back in 2008ish. I remember Dustin and I driving to Orlando on or around my birthday that year and me getting it done and then going out to eat with some family and friends to celebrate. I originally wanted it on the back of my neck but was talked out of it by the tattoo artist. I honestly don't remember his reasoning. So I thought I'll just throw this thing on my shoulder. I was fine with that at first but as time went on I thought the placement was awful. The tattoo was just too small for that area of my back. It didn't have a good flow. I made up my mind that one day I'd just get it covered up. One day...

I've always loved Dustin's anatomical heart. The human heart is just a cool thing - physically and emotionally. It's always been one of my favorite tattoos ever. A few years ago I came across this piece of art. It's basically the feminine, girly version of Dustin's tattoo. I fell in love. I wanted that on my body forever. I just hadn't decided on all of the specifics. So I saved this photo on my phone. I sat on that idea for a long time. Finally, I realized I wanted to cover my lightning bolt with the flowery anatomical heart. Again, an idea I just sat on for awhile. Well, my 30th birthday helped push me into taking action. I started researching tattoo artists. I asked Facebook. I asked friends. I looked at a lot of different people before deciding on Miss Wild West (thanks to Katie's suggestion). I flipped through her photos on Instagram and just knew she was the perfect match. I reached out to her several months ago and we corresponded back and forth before setting a date. I couldn't believe it was finally happening and there was proof on my calendar. 

The day finally came and I was beyond excited. I brought snacks and drinks. Dustin and I ate a big lunch beforehand (with lots of salt for my low blood pressure) and we were on our way. Kind of. As we were leaving the parking lot I got rear ended. It was a pretty hard hit or at least felt that way since we were at a complete stop. Dustin immediately checked to see if I was ok and then flew out of the car. I just panicked. I started sobbing. I wasn't hurt but I was frustrated beyond belief. The last few weeks have been hell for us. Dustin's car hadn't even been fixed from his accident. I had a rough week health wise after suffering from vertigo/extra low blood pressure/panic attacks for much of it. And now this. THIS. Come on universe! It took me a minute to pull myself together but I did. I finally started to realize that the most important thing is Dustin and I were fine. Miss Wild West was very understanding of the situation and was completely fine with us being a little late to the appointment. And my car isn't in terrible shape. Just an extra hassle. Such is life. 

Once finally at the tattoo shop she showed me the drawing she had come up with for the first time. It was even better than I had imagined. I was so pumped! The time had finally come to get to business. Dustin stayed for the first 10 minutes of the pain and then killed time running around Daytona. I laid on my stomach and endured the tattoo needle for 2+ hours. Can you believe that shit?! Yes, I have other tattoos but all of them took maybe 20 minutes each time. I was really proud that I sat through it as well as I did. Dustin came back for the last 45 minutes or so. He, Miss Wild West, another tattoo artist, and I just talked and joked the rest of the time. It felt like I was amongst friends. I couldn't have asked for a better environment. I am so excited about the results of the first session. She did an incredible job and I cannot wait to see those flowers colored in! I'll be back in the hot seat next month. Cannot wait!

The worst part of the whole thing has been the healing process. I hate this part so much. It's still pretty sore and hard to wear a bra or sleep on my back but at least it's only temporary. 

And yes, I totally plan on getting a new Harry Potter tattoo eventually. Maybe a few. 

Dustin Says

You're on my shit list for putting me on yours.

Dustin: This chicken sandwich is the highlight of my day.
Me: What about me?!
Dustin: You're the highlight of my life.

I had been complaining all week that Dustin's snoring kept waking me up...
I woke myself up snoring.

Me: I hate Kermit's new girlfriend.
Dustin: It won't last.

What you've got down there is a vagina and it's the most powerful weapon in the world.

What I Wore #31

I think what I liked most about this outfit is the color scheme. I love navy blue with olive green. It's just always perfection. I have two of these tanks - one in olive and one in black. They are so versatile. I can wear them to work as seen here or I can lose the cardigan and throw them with a pair of jeans and it's the perfect weekend casual look. Pieces that I can dress up or down are always my favorite.

Cardigan: Forever 21

Tank: Old Navy

Pants: Target

Flats: Sophie & Trey

Found

12 Things Women Who Are Truly Comfortable In Their Own Skin Do Differently. Indeed we do!

A five year old boy finds out he's going to be a big brother and it's the cutest thing ever.

10 Reasons To Be Glad You're a Highly Sensitive Person

10 Celebrities Who Support Planned Parenthood

Sims Addicts Unite!

I want to be Baddie Winkle when I grow up.

Puppy photo shoot because why not?!

Cute couple alert!

Being an introvert with FOMO.

Divorce selfies are kind of awesome. If you know you're not meant to be then go out on good terms and enjoy the rest of your life!

Wildest Dreams

40 Things Only People Who Had To Raise Themselves Can Understand

Well, now I'm even more sad Parenthood won't be back this fall. Thanks a lot Kristen Bell!

Poor guy had to celebrate his friend's bachelor party alone.

21 Pieces of Leslie Knope Advice

From Where I'm Standing

This is a blog post that has entered and exited my brain on several occasions over the last year or two. I liked the idea but I wasn't quite sure how to execute it. And the truth is, I still don't. Sometimes I try to write drafts in my head before I put my fingers to my keyboard. Not today. Today I'm just winging this shit. 

I'm not sure when I started to take photos of my feet but my guess is 2005, when I received my first digital camera (from Dustin for Christmas). Now, I don't have some weird foot fetish. I promise! To me, there's just something special about capturing where I'm standing and what I'm standing on or near (or sometimes whom I'm with), to show future me where I've been. I know there are all sorts of campaigns in this phone obsessed world to "LOOK UP!" and of course I agree with the message they are trying to send, but I also think that standing in one place and looking down with or without a camera lens is a great thing. I think it's my way to "stop and smell the roses". It's helped me to just be present in that moment. To reflect on how I got there. To appreciate what's beneath my feet just as much as what's in the distance. 

I've always wanted to compile all of these photos into one place. This unintentional on-going "project" has turned out to be such a cool little series that I'm really proud of. The thing that strikes me the most is how I can tell you exactly where I was in every single one of these photos by just studying the ground beneath me. I've got a great memory in general but that seems kind of crazy. I just love how a simple photo of the ground I'm currently standing on can bring back such a rush of memories. They say a photo is worth a thousand words and I guess that goes for the ones facing down.

So here they are. Photos of the ground. Photos of feet and shoes. Photos taken outside and in. Photos of people I love and people that are no longer in my life. Photos of the past. Photos of the steps I've taken to the present.

 

Just some buds gathered around a tiny table after a Pirates game in Pittsburgh. 

It's hard to see but if you look close you'll find feet and hands in the cement. The date is a little more clear - '67. This was (probably still is) located on my grandparent's old driveway. From what I remember they are my uncles doing. // This was taken during a trip to Ron Jon's with Matt & Rachelle a couple summers ago. 

Our current doormat. Also, check out that wrinkled dress! I was on my way to vend at the Big Bang Bazaar. 

I can tell immediately that this is not Florida grass. That's definitely in a cemetery in Weirton, WV. // Dustin, me, and my whole (old) work gang went to RDV to ice-skate except there was some kind of hockey championship game going on so there wasn't any free skate. We decided to go rollerblading at Semoran Skateway. So much fun! 

About a month ago I bought a bunch of succulents so I could play gardner. So far so good!

I threw on my rainbows while sitting in my car. Always prepared! // Miranda and I enjoying a Starbucks treat and probably having a very inappropriate conversation. 

Erin and I in matching flats when we used to work together. I'd spot that carpet anywhere. 

This was when we got a new bathroom rug that was oh so comfy on the feet.  // One of my favorite floors! This is in the bathroom at Alchemy (hair salon). I had just chopped my hair off and had to pee!

A group date. This is all of us eating our gelati in front of Jeremiah's in Maitland. 

A Valentine's Day surprise at my front door. // Erin and I hanging out at a pretty spot in Winter Park just days before she moved to Texas. 

This one is only a couple weeks old. New rug. Holla!

Sitting on the steps of my grandparent's old front porch. I always loved that spot. // Killing time while Dustin tests out every drum in the store. 

Siesta Key at sunset. <3

Bridesmaid at a wedding. It's not easy walking in wedges in squishy grass. // The parking lot at the hotel Erin and I stayed at in Savannah. 

Another one of my favorite floors because it's the only time I've been able to walk through central Florida in only a couple of strides. 

My aunt's friend let us crash her beach intercostal house. I could've sat on that cute little dock all day and watched the little crabs. // A Saturday morning yoga mesh with M & E.

On my way to a baby shower of an old co-worker. 

Shopping is tough. I think I'll just relax on this couch in Big Lots. // Watching a sunset on my grandparent's old dock. I miss being able to do that. 

Waiting to board a flight to Pittsburgh in MCO where the carpet and seating are horrid. 

Disney day with Erin and Tim. It was a long and exhausting one but totally worth it. // I'm standing on some rocks in the ocean at Siesta Key. 

Another one of my grandparent's dock. Lots of weeds. 

 

Waiting to take in a Penguins game at the old Igloo in downtown Pittsburgh. // We finally got around to iceskating and it was just as fun as rollerskating. 

The first thing I noticed about this is the flooring. It's the linoleum from the first house Dustin and I lived in together. But also, the sunburn on my knees from wearing shorts to a Steelers game in Tampa. 

Both of these photos were taken in Savannah at completely different times with different people. I love how much age and character both of them show.

Another Pens game but this time in Tampa. 

Our first Steelers game at Heinz Field. I had to get all of the yellow seats! And also it was like 40 degrees and rainy. // Dustin and I lounging after a day of anniversary activities. 

Erin and I sipping on lemonades at a park in downtown Dallas. 

Flagler Beach - Home of the worst sand ever because it's actually crushed shells. // Dustin and I all fancy at the Fidak wedding!

The only time I've ever worn pants to a wedding. But it was outside and cold so I think it's justified. 

Backyard hangs with my mom at my grandparent's old place. // Texas has so many flowers so you bet your ass I had to document that. 

The floor in the kitchen of our old house. The outfit I wore to a Christmas party. 

RDV Sportsplex has all of these basketball player shoes you can "try on". Dwight and I are almost the same size! // Mom and me checking out Flagler Beach from a distance in November. 

Just doing a little pillow making. 

Helping Kierce on the escalator. // The carpet/chair of my old cubicle! Also, a fun outfit. 

Wekiwa Springs. We dove and jumped. (Not really.)

There's that northern grass again. Miranda and I hanging in HowDee's backyard. // Just comparing my foot to a elephant's at the Pittsburgh Zoo.

Harry Potter watching in our old bedroom. 

Dustin and I taking a break at IKEA. // Dustin went to hang with his boss and watch football which meant I took over his chair and watched Sex and the City! 

The first and only time I've been snowboarding (in the Poconos). I hated it. 

To most, this is a very boring photo of some fancy legs and feet. But little do they know this is me sitting on THE BENCH (where all the Pens sit) at the Consol Energy Center.