Dustin Says

The only thing darker than her coat is her soul.

"Tilted Uterus" sounds like an Irish bar.

Me: Look at how relaxed Cheeto is.
Dustin: He's Chillderoy Lockhart.

Me: Gina's outfit is so tacky.
Dustin: What are you talking about? She could have a turd smeared across her face and still look great.

I don't want kids but I would adopt a baby Yoda.

All The Christmas Presents I'll End Up Buying For Myself

I'm like the easiest person to buy for. I collect so many things - enamel pins, funko pops, plants, and magnets. I'm into so many pop culture things like Harry Potter, Taylor Swift, and everything in between. My aesthetic is mid-century modern meets nerd. So when I gave Dustin "my list" of things this year and he came back with "there's nothing on here" I was like UM YES THERE IS. My biggest want is Chanel perfume because I ran out of mine a little bit ago but shit is expensive and I'll never buy it for myself.

Everyone, including myself, try to buy fun, cute, and unique gifts for their loved ones but sometimes we just want/need the boring stuff. The stuff that we keep in our amazon cart but never hit the buy button on. The stuff that help our day to day lives and mental health in huge ways but aren't exactly instagram worthy. Sure some of the gifts I've listed below are boring as hell but that's the point. Would buying stamps for a regular person excite them? Probably not. But for me that is an A+ gift.

All of this is to say, just get people what they want/need. Shop for them - not you. It's not about what I would like for them but what they would straight up like and vice versa.


Girls and Their Cats - This is one of those coffee table books with pretty photos of literally girls and their cats which sounds downright amazing.

Colorslide from Glossier - I am such a fan of a fun bright eye especially after I started to follow Katie Jane Hughes on Instagram and watching Euphoria. Like why do the same old boring black play-it-safe-eyeliner when you can do anything?! Like there aren't any rules! I love all of the colors but my faves are definitely Early Girl, Adult Swim, and Nectar.

Stamps - For a person that loves snail mail, stamps are always an awesome treat for me. I'm such a nerd that way but I don't care. If I'm sending someone mail I don't want a boring stamp. It's got to be a full on experience from top to bottom - stamps, packaging, the works! Right now they have a lot of great ones from T-Rex to Sesame Street to Star Trek. 

Sims 4 Stuff Packs - I've got all the expansions but I'm still working on getting all of the stuff packs. But now there's been this new update that really fucked me and everyone else over who have older computers (mine is a 2012 iMac) so I'm not sure if these will even work but I'm going to get them whenever I upgrade. 

Pajamas - Target has really upped their pj game as of late and for this homebody I've been all over it but I want more. I wear my pajamas out pretty fast. One of my favorite e pair of pj pants already has a hole in the butt. Whoops! There is nothing better than being comfy and cute at home while binging an entire season of something. 

Bumble and Bumble Dryspun Texture Spray - I love Bumble and Bumble products from their sprays to their shampoos (which I'm currently running out of too - ugh!) thanks to my hair salons use of them on me every time I go in. This texture spray is everything though and I've been out for a good month or two. It's pricy and I'm cheap. I'll buy it eventually. 

The Fulminator for Cats - I've heard of the fulminator for years but for whatever reason never got one because I thought they were mainly for dogs BUT there is a cat version (or maybe it's all one in the same - who knows who cares). Cheeto sheds A LOT. There are little oranger tumbleweeds floating across the floor of our house at any given time. He has a brush (which he legit asks for) but maybe it's time for an upgrade. 

Texas: Day Three

We woke up and slowly got ready. Our Uber ride aka boo thang Erin came to pick us up and Jon had breakfast ready for us the minute we walked through the door. We scarfed it all down and then hung out watching old horror movies. I honestly was paying more attention to Charlie, Sadie, and Peach. They were letting Peach wonder around their apartment a little more and so far no huge cat fights. She was immediately cool with Charlie but she and Sadie certainly had their moments. Sadie is the cat that turned Erin into a cat lady. I don't even think Erin's had her for a year yet but she warmed her cold dead cat heart something fierce. To be fair Erin was "attacked" by a cat years ago while they were sleeping and suffered a couple serious scratches across her face. I remember when it happened because we were working together at a law firm at the time and I was told Erin wouldn't be in that day because she had to go get looked at. I'd be pretty spooked too! But Sadie is probably the sweetest cat I've ever met and I've met some sweet baby angels in my time. Sadie is incredibly friendly right off the bat which is a super weird trait for a cat. A lot of them have weird little quirks like Cheeto who is afraid of the doorbell and most people or Olive who will just stare you down from across the room. We of course love them to death but we get a different side of them then most people. But Sadie just loves everyone immediately. Can you believe she was surrendered? Like it boggles my mind but I'm also super happy she ended up in such a wonderful home. 2019 will always go down as the year Erin's inner cat lady came to the surface. 

We threw around a bunch of things to do around town and finally decided on bbq at Hutchins (where Erin took me on one of me past Frisco trips). Dustin hadn't been super impressed with the last couple eateries but Hutchins hit the spot. Finally! The only downside, and Erin warned us, was you smell like smokey bbq for the remainder of the day, which for us meant until 1 am when we got home from our flight. 

After lunch we went to the National Video Game Museum which weirdly enough is located in Frisco.  It was really cool and gave you full access to play every popular console that has ever existed. They even had rooms set up like the 80s and 90s before ending with an old school arcade Stranger Things style. It was a really neat place!

 

We then went to a few stores looking for a record player pad. Just FYI Target and Best Buy don't sell them yet they sell records. Ok. We had some time to kill before they dropped us off at the airport so Erin took us about 15 minute north to a new housing development where she and Jon are hoping to buy come 2020. We walked all of the model homes and Erin told us which was her fave. They were all so nice and I've got everything crossed they are able to make it happen soon. Erin told me election years are a good time to buy so here's hoping! Erin is like a top notch decorator so I can't wait to see what she does to it once she has a home to go crazy with. 

Afterwards they dropped us off at the airport and I said goodbye to MY ErPort. It's always so nice catching up in person. We truly finish each others sentences but without fail always each others songs. We are always singing random shit to each other and then giggle about it like buffoons. Don't judge. I told her to warn Jon before we got there that us together can get annoying. Thankfully Dustin just tunes us out at this point. Ha! It was bittersweet to say goodbye because at the end of a trip I'm always ready to sleep in my own bed and see my cats but it's hard saying goodbye to great friends (and this time a great keety). I know she can't read because she's a cat but we love and miss you Peach! 

Until next time boo...maybe a Disney Star Wars trip or a wedding...who knows...winky windy face.

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Texas: Day Two

We started the day at Snooze. I fell in love the minute we walked through the door because the design aesthetic was oh so mid century modern. There was a wait to be seated inside so we went ahead and ate outside. Usually we're against eating outside but that's because Florida is sticky and hot and I rather not sweat while I eat...or ever for that matter. It was a very chilly morning - low 60s. But they sat us next to a heater and it was extremely comfortable. I got their blueberry danish pancakes and they were superb! Erin and Dustin weren't super fans of their savory dishes though. :(

Our waiter was so nice and friendly. We asked for suggestions of where to go next and he delivered. He asked where we were from and then learned his girlfriend was currently in Lakeland and he had just relocated earlier this year from Georgia. It's such a small world. Erin and I both noticed how much friendlier people were in Austin. It really makes all the difference. A little kindness goes a long way.

As we were walking back to the car I noticed a bakery named "Hayley" so I took a couple photos and sent them to my cousin of the same name with a text that read WITH A MOTHERFUCKIN' "Y"! I knew she'd get a kick out of it since everyone always forgets the Y in her name. Idiots. 

 

We headed right over to S. Congress Ave. per our waiters recommendation. That street is everything! It's got all the shopping and cute little restaurants. There are street vendors, musicians, and dancers. 

We also made it a point to visit the famous "I love you so much" mural which is literally just on the side of a small coffee shop. I would have missed it if it wasn't pointed out on google maps. It was fun taking a bunch of photos in front of it like I've seen so many others do before us. 

We went in and out of a few shops, one of which was the biggest costume store ever. I so wish I had a Halloween party to go to in Austin because I'd go crazy in that store. They even had a giant ALF you could buy for $600 or rent for $100. Dustin and I found this extra funny because he had just mentioned I should dress up like ALF again except this time as an adult of course. My five year old self would be flipping out even more than my adult self was when I saw it. 

 

I just love how quirky and eclectic and bright and fun S. Congress Ave. and really Austin is as a whole. If I had to live in Texas, Austin would be my number one pick for sure! Frisco (where Erin lives) is super nice but it's all new construction and I really enjoy the charm of buildings with history. I feel like Austin is to the south what Portland is to the PNW and you all know how much I love me some Portland. So yeah, Austin sold me. I'd love to go back and spend more time there. Also, I saw several Bernie/Beto/Democratic bumper stickers than I ever imagined to see in Texas. I didn't see ONE racist Trump bumper sticker. Not one! Florida is flooded with that gross shit so I assumed Texas would be too since it's a huge red state and the center of the stupid wall debate. But between Austin and Frisco I didn't see any of that and was so happy about it!

Random fun fact: Austin is totally our celeb nickname. Ashley + Dustin = Austin! I always loved it as a middle name for our never-going-to-happen-children. I just use it in the Sims instead. Ha!

 

On the way back to Frisco we stopped for gas and food at none other than the Texas famous Buc-ees! Erin and Jon explained to us the Buc-ees phenomenon but you don't really understand it until you're inside - and even then you're like what is happening, but in the best way. First of all Buc-ees is a gas station on steroids. It is the Walmart of gas stations. It is huge! Again with that whole "everything's bigger in Texas" thing. They are known for having the cleanest bathrooms and since I peed in the Temple, TX location I can say that it is true. If only arenas and stadiums had bathrooms that nice and efficient. They also have a huge section of Buc-ees brand beef jerky and fresh warm nuts (we got some!) and desserts and all kinds of shit. They also provide all other regular convenience store snacks. They have cold and hot food you can order similar to Wawa. Then they have a store on top of that. It's a mix of Hobby Lobby meets HomeGoods meets Cracker Barrel in which they carry a myriad of items including a whole Buc-ees only items. Dustin got a shirt, magnet, and koozie. Go big or go home, right? We also got a bunch of buc-ees food items for lunch which we ate in the car before making the trip back. The best thing is they just broke ground to Florida's first Buc-ees in Daytona! Just you guys wait. You don't even know. But you will. 

Dustin was happy we didn't stop in Waco (only because Erin and I had already been - LOL) so he didn't have to put up with any Chip Gaines shenanigans who is his mortal enemy. It's only one-sided but still, he can't stand him. It is pretty obnoxious that he has like 5+ giant billboards coming into Waco. But it was fun pointing them out to Dustin. Ha! Dustin was very happy to see a Fazolis along the highway since all of ours are gone (BUT WILL SOON RETURN!). 

 

We made it back to good ol' Frisco by 4ish and we went straight to picking up Charlie from being boarded overnight. He was so excited to see Erin! And I was so excited to see him! I remember the day Erin got him and brought him over to our old house. He's a little old man but still looks and acts like a pup. He'd just climb up on Dustin's lap and sit down like they were old friends. The cutest! We all got changed in our hockey gear and headed out for dinner at Sidecar Social before the game. It's like a really cool sports bar. This ain't your mom's Buffalo Wild Wings. Although I did get their wings and they were great. It's decorated really cute and their are HUGE screens everywhere with all kinds of games. And there are actual games you can just get up and play all over the building - from ping pong to darts to giant jenga etc. It would definitely be a cool place to watch a game or just spend a Saturday evening like we did. The craziest part of the restaurant are their bathrooms. The women and mens bathroom, well just the hand washing room, are open to one another. So you pee privately in another room and then when you walk through the door to wash your hands it looks normal at first but then you look past the mirror and realize there is no wall but a man washing his hands opposite you. It's not big enough space for someone to actually come to the other side but I imagine some interesting interactions take place. I wanted to take a photo (and I should have because I can't fine one on the internet) but there was a guy on the other side and I just felt weird about it. 

Then we were off to the game. Traffic was annoying and I had an awful stomach ache to boot. Dustin was antsy as hell with all these setbacks but we were doing the best we could. So he and I ended up just jumping out of the car and walking to the stadium while Erin and Jon parked her car. We wanted to meet Dice (aka Zach but I know him as Dice so that's what I will be calling him from here on out) out front to get our tickets but also so he could go inside with the rest of his family and watch the warmups. The Stars arena is super nice! It was amazing to see how many Pens fans were in attendance. Our whole row was almost all Pens fans with all of Dice's family and then Dustin and I. There were also the rowdy guys at the end that pissed off a parent with a young kid in front of them for cussing. But like you're at a sporting event...what do you expect? It's not illegal and you can't censor every person you're around just because you don't want your seven year old to hear the word "Fuck". (He's heard it before, I promise you.) The first half of the game was kind of boring with not a lot of action but then we finally started to score! When the score hit 3-0 Pens all of the Stars fans started leaving and Dice started waving goodbye to them. Ha! It was such a fun time getting to see Dice, an original bud, in person again! Dustin and him talk multiple times a week but we hadn't seen him up close and personal since our 2012 Pittsburgh trip. And this time we got to meet his fiancé and sister and mom! Ha! We couldn't thank him enough for helping us score those tickets. This was my first hockey game with Erin too and of course we had a blast even if her team lost. This Dallas Stars meme had me rolling. STD'rs!

Dustin isn't typically very excitable but seeing him after an in-person Penguins win is pretty great. He's all smiles. He's nothing but a good mood. I love seeing him that happy! It took him forever to fall asleep in our hotel room that night. Fuck sleep after a PENGWIN!