day 91

first pair of sunglasses.
happy day!

Found

Coolest time-lapse.

Walter Bishop is the funniest guy on tv.

Who knew smoke could be so neat and artistic?

Anchorman 2 is coming!

A slut speaks out.

Hand lettering is cool!

50 photos that will blow you away.

can i just eat a bowl of cereal in peace?

i've been awake for 45 minutes and i'm already annoyed.

first, i woke up BEFORE my alarm clock on a SATURDAY.
then i walked out to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal, except all my favorite bowls are dirty, lying in the sink. so i wash them.
afterward, i grab another bowl out of the cabinet for my cereal.
i finally sit down to enjoy my breakfast when i realize the internet isn't working.
so i get up and fix it.
when i get back there is a small puddle of milk on my desk.
yeah, the stupid bowl that i never use has a crack and milk is leaking through.
oy vey.
i'm calling it a day.

day 90

homemade chicken wrap.
what. up.

day 89

view from bed.

Currently

Loving: that dustin discovered that fantasy factory is back on a couple nights ago. we stayed up past our bedtime and watched a couple episodes. that show cracks me up. ex: chunky as charged. and derek! oh derek.

Thinking about: my crazy zombie/dinosaur dream last night. i had a gun and actually was a good shot. i felt like a total badass. kind of awesome!

Anticipating: hearing some news. at this point i just want to know one way or another...

Listening to: the 'like crazy' soundtrack. obviously i fell in love with the movie but i also fell in love with the music in the movie. and at this exact moment as i type this i'm listening to dead hearts.

Eating: just got done eating raisin bran cereal. a lot of people find this super adulty and boring but i actually like it. it helps that its on the healthier end of cereals but i wouldn't touch the stuff if i didn't find it tasty.

Wishing: and hoping and dreaming that we will find a house we like and can afford. i keep telling myself everything happens for a reason and to just be patient but it's fucking hard when i want to move - like yesterday.

day 88

DH.
if you don't know then well, you don't know.
and i feel bad for you.

anxiety, like crazy

over the past few days i've experienced some anxiety issues. out of no where my chest would tighten, my arms would ache, and i came more aware of my breathing. this happened monday night while watching tv.

then yesterday, it happened again, at work. i stared at my computer screen and thought to myself - calm down, focus on your work and it will go away. except it didn't. it's really awesome when your boss is a nurse though. so i went to her and she had me sit down so she could take my blood pressure. right arm 165/117 (which is pretty bad). left arm 100/75 (normal range). every time i go to the doctors, they always commend me on having such great blood pressure. it has never been out of range and certainly not super high like yesterday. so she agreed with me that it was definitely stress, anxiety attack related.

nothing super stressful has been going on in my life. i mean with life there is ALWAYS something not going your way or stressing you out but nothing to warrant two anxiety attacks back to back. i was telling dustin it almost feels like a delayed reaction of sorts. a few months back i was going through all kinds of shit but things have somewhat mellowed out.

dustin wanted to keep a close eye on me last night. he made me rest and lay down on the couch. he gave me the remote and told me to watch anything i wanted. he asked if i wanted him to put a movie in and i said no. he finally did manage to twist my arm into renting a movie off xbox. i decided on 'like crazy'. this movie was so real. i just loved watching these two people (yes, characters but whatever) fall in love and i felt their pain when they had to make the relationship long distance. it didn't end with butterflies and rainbows but i feel like it ended just as it should have. they created their ending at the start. they chose it from the beginning. it reaffirmed my own thinking - when something or someone amazing comes in your life, you don't let it go. simple as that. you have to use your brain just as much of your heart. it might be hard at times, sure, but you can be smart about it and make it work if you really want it to. who's to say you will have a second chance, or a 3rd or 4th?

tagline from imdb: I want you - I need you - I love you - I miss you
but the line that describes this movie the best is "it's hard to keep stopping and starting"

day 87

on my way to work.
paula jo would be proud.

the videodiary

my love how beautiful you are
my love is everywhere you are
i know you feel the wounds of time
the wondering feet of crows
but i am yours and you are mine
and no one truly knows
how wonderful you are to me
more lovely everyday
i pray that i will live to see
you wear a crown of gray

finally got this video done! and figured out how to add our new favorite song. technology rules!
dustin walked in our bedroom singing it to me last night and i just about melted.

day 86

it's spring!
the cookie says so.
even though it feels more like the middle of summer.

splash of grenadine

SATURDAY: a regular old saturday morning began with yoga with erin. to change it up - breakfast at this little cafe. we actually used to eat there and pick up food from the office we used to work at years and years ago. it was nice to reminisce about carrying a huge box of food across a fairly busy road. erin made me try what she called "the best blueberry muffin in the world". i agreed but i thought how good could it be really? turns out this beast was GRILLED and perfect. it had the right amount of crunch and fluffiness. it really was the best. we ate a lot of food and didn't really care. all while she drooled at some buff police officers at the table across the room. just as we were finishing up she started screaming about JJ Redick. the photo of the day for saturday explains that i had no idea who he was. i was about to ask her if he was a friend of hers or something. nope, he plays basketball for the orlando magic. i don't do basketball. but, i'm not even going to get started on that. she was so hilariously cute about him being there, all i could do was laugh and be excited for her. he ended up sitting by himself, right behind her. she called her sister and whispered in excitement. as we were paying for our meals i kept asking if she wanted me to take a picture of her and him. she said no (even though i'm pretty sure she did). she calmed down and spoke to him like a normal human being. and i secretly took a picture. when we walked outside she freaked out again and then noticed he had parked next to her. she was jumping up and down. she even made me touch her heart to feel how fast it was beating. i guess i might feel the same way if fleury had sat down behind me...

dustin and i didn't really do anything the rest of the day. i decided to run out and get a new nailpolish color. i decided on splash of grenadine by essie. so i turned on my music on my iphone and got to painting. it was just so nice and relaxing. dustin came in as i was putting on the top coat and asked if he could try and paint one. i was a little apprehensive but it was clear so how bad could he mess it up? BAD. he painted so hard that the color came all the way off and i ended up having to re-do it. he's got many great qualities but nail painting doesn't fall in that list.

SUNDAY: we woke up to see an early showing (9:45 AM) of the hunger games with pat and sam (he's already back in town!...). sam and i have read all the books and are pretty big fans. she's probably more of a fan than me because she's read all the books multiple times and she actually enjoyed the third book (i thought it sucked. slow and anti-climactic ending). dustin and pat only knew what they have heard from us. first of all the movie was right on with the book. i thought it was really well done. the cast, the wardrobe, the sets - perfect. the rue death scene had me in all kinds of tears. that was rough. dustin really liked the movie. he did however think the dogs at the end were just stupid, cheesy, & unbelievable which i kind of have to agree with him there. he also couldn't stop mentioning how much he liked jennifer lawrence. actually everyone EXCEPT me thought she was this extraordinarily beautiful girl. obviously she is a pretty girl but she isn't my type if i were into girls. ha! i will say she is growing on me just from her personality alone. i watched a bunch of interviews of her tonight and she seems like such a cool, sarcastic, dorky girl and that is hotter than any kind of physical looks. sam liked it as well but pointed out the little changes from he book that i hadn't even realized. she reminded of me every time i left a harry potter movie detailing every single difference. pat enjoyed it too but was pretty shocked by the storyline. i don't think he was expecting something so serious. can't wait for catching fire in november 2013! woo!

we went to the olive garden for a nice little lunch. chatted more about the movie over some lovely pasta dishes. it was nice seeing the two of them again. i mean yeah sam lives right down the road but we've both have been busy and i didn't expect pat for years (just kidding - kind of - we really like giving him a hard time). we dropped them off at their car in the theater parking lot so they could go about their visit. long distance is hard and i understand feeling like you just haven't gotten enough alone time together. hell, i still feel like that some weekends with dustin.

i ended up taking my weekly sunday afternoon nap which i treasure with all my heart. seriously don't mess with my nap! we were kind of bored after i woke up so dustin downloaded hugo on his xbox. that movie was really good. it was fun to watch - the time period, paris, and the super cool train station were all so neat.

while dustin watched the pens win, i was busy making a collage of all of his ladies. yep, this is what i do in my free time. no regrets. i had brought up that he has such a specific taste in girl. what do we all have in common? (for the record, i think all of the girls below are beautiful and i am certainly not in the same league but there still are similarities)

we all have round faces. we all have big teeth. we all have big chubby cheeks. we all are brunettes. and of course we all have decently sized boobs. he looked at this picture for a solid 5 minutes straight. new desktop background?

and another weekend gone. just like that. thumbs down. tears. temper tantrum. pout.

day 85

mini geno.
pretty appropriate since they won their game tonight.

day 84

Erin: OmgOmgOmg that's JJ Redick!!
Me: Who the hell is that?!
Erin: JJ REDICK!!
Me: WHO?!!
Erin: Magic!
Me: Ohhh. Want me to take a picture of you two?
Erin: Nononono.
Me: I'm going to act like I'm taking a picture of you but he will be in the background.
Erin: Well, don't make it obvious!
She then pulled herself together enough to tell him what a huge fan of his she is.
I cracked up over this the entire drive home.

day 83

the tracks near park ave.

day 82

it was about 10PM and i had been in bed since 6PM with a terrible headache.
i walked in the bathroom to see my lovely up-do that my hair just created itself.
look, even the illusion of bangs!

day 81

wednesdays.

& happy bday melody!

day 80

so some ants are destroying this bush in our front yard.
as long as they are outside, i don't really care.
party on, ants.

& a very happy bday to katie!

day 79

prettiest candle i own.

seven

yesterday marked seven years together. whoa. i am still trying to wrap my head around that. i think about that first st. patrick's day together often and of course all the others we have shared since. the irish holiday where people drink too much beer and wear green has become my favorite holiday ever - for a completely different reason.

i grabbed these from my livejournal.

i wrote this the day after we met and had our first date.

and this just a few weeks after that.

i'm sure i come across as pretty dramatic in my LJ days but i just write how i feel and don't think how it may come across to other people. i'm not even sure what i was so upset about here but dustin's words made me feel worlds better. and even reading them today make me feel incredibly lucky. things did get better and i have dustin to thank.

i even went on my old myspace account to find some of our first wall comments to one another but since it was seven years ago myspace either archived them or just erased them. i did however find these gems.

it's always fun looking through old stuff like that. it give me butterflies. it makes me feel all giddy.

i snuck out of the house before dustin woke up and got us special st. patty's day donuts. i also got him this ridiculous card that came with these green mustaches. basically, the only reason i got the card was for the staches - obviously. i also made a little video for dustin and had him watch it while he enjoyed the donuts. seven years worth of memories.


Song #1: I Just Needed You to Know by Mae
Reminds me of when we first met. The distance, driving 95 all the damn time, everything.

I remember I would drive 95 in the middle of the night just to see you
And I would say for goodness sake could this car go faster.
I'd curse things in between that slowed me down.
You were home talkin' to me on the phone saying
"patience makes this last, dear"
And you were cool as you could be but inside you were aching for me
When I pulled into your little town

Do you remember driving home that night?
We sang our favorite songs along the radio.
And it was heaven being by your side -
We made the most of every chance we had alone.
And now I just needed you to know ..

This life is ours for worse, for better.
And these dreams we dream along together.
Cause' this world is ours to share forever.
And everything i do, will be because of you ..yeah everything

Song #2: Anthology by Thrice
This song came out last year when we were knee deep in the hardest year we've had to endure. So much of our life got shook up but this song was a reminder that we can get through anything.

Oh you know me
Oh and I know you
And I know that
We can see this through

It's true that you could snap my neck
I trust you'll save my life instead
Cause our love is a loyalty sworn
If we hold to our hope
Then I know we can weather the storm
Whatever they say
Come what may

first up was dave and busters. one just opened in town recently and i had never been! the last time dustin had gone was back in high school so it seemed pretty perfect. we played skee ball, shot some hoops (that's the correct basketball lingo the cool kids are using these days right?), raced cars, jet skis, and boats. i even got to pretend i was driving a semi-truck. NEVER LET ME DRIVE A SEMI-TRUCK. we rode a simulated roller coaster that shook us so much it felt like our brains were mush after it was over. that's totally normal right? we shot zombies and we even helped arnold kill terminators.

we ate lunch there too. i had mac-n-cheese with chicken and bacon and dustin got a steak. then went back to playing more games. it reminded me of our first year of dating when we frequented random arcades on our weekends together. there was one in st. augustine, daytona, and rocky's replay here in orlando (which i thought shut down but apparently it just moved - good to know). it had been forever since we had been to any of them so it was extra nice.

when we were all gamed out, we headed over to our fancy hotel out by disney. it was super nice! the nicest hotel dustin and i have ever stayed in together. we dropped our stuff off in our room and immediately went out by the pool. to be more exact - the lazy river. we totally picked this hotel based solely on the fact that it indeed had a lazy river. we swam the first couple laps because the inner tubes were first come. dustin found me a tube and then proceeded to push me around. there were 'rapids' and a 'waterfall'. it was so relaxing. once we were done being lazy we moved to the 'adult' pool which is completely separate from the family pool - totally appreciate that!

we decided to go back up the room and put on some dry clothes and see a movie at downtown disney. we saw '21 jump street' because it was the only movie we didn't have to wait an hour for. i wanted to see it but i didn't think it would be as awesome as it was. it was fucking hilarious. seriously. and i know i read into everything BUT it was kind of weird and awesome that the movie starts in 2005 and then speeds up to present day. seven years...

we brought back chik-fil-a to our hotel room and relaxed for a bit. on our way up to our room we noticed there were a lot of people in very fancy attire. we realized there was a wedding going on. i don't know them and we never even saw the bride and groom but i can say that having a st. patty's anniversary is the best ever. it was about 8:30PM when we headed back to the pool for some night swimming. when we got down there we noticed they had a movie (adventures of tintin) playing by the pool. yes, you could swim and watch a movie at the same time! we opted to go in the hot tub instead. it was awesome because it was huge and there was only one other guy in there on the other side. plus, we could still see the movie. we ended the night with a viewing of the roast of charlie sheen which was wildly inappropriate and equally hilarious.

we spent sunday finishing up laundry, watching stupid tv shows, laying around, watching the pens game, napping, etc. it was the perfect anniversary weekend. with the perfect meatball.

day 78

morning view from our hotel room.

day 77

st. patty's stache!

day 76

um, i thought it was "gollum"?
regardless, it's pretty drawesome!

day 75

mellow mushroom.
these guys are cute but they didn't help.
i ended up with a 10" house special all to myself.

day 74

today was blue. a happy blue.

day 73

just got my rings back! eeee!
first of all, my engagement ring was long overdue for a white gold re-dipping/cleaning.
i am blown away by how awesome it looks now. just like the day i got it!
secondly, that wedding band is BRAND NEW. this is the first time i've gotten to wear it.
the band i've been wearing for the past two years was intertwined, braided and sterling silver.
well, over time it started to change color. it still looks cool (i'll wear it on my other hand) but it didn't match my engagement ring anymore. so, i sent dustin a link of the new band back in january. i hinted that it would be a great flag day present. hehe! but, turns out he not only got it for me but gave it to my for our anniversary - which is this saturday, EVEN though we have had a strong rule against no anniversary presents. it was huge on me so while the other ring got re-dipped, i got this one re-sized. together they are absolutely perfect. i have noticed myself staring at them just like the day we got engaged. of course i feel pretty in them but more importantly it's a reminder - a symbol of everything we have together and that's really the best part.

Life List

I've had a 'life list' aka 'fun list' aka 'bucket list' for years now. I guess we all have things in our heads that we'd like to do someday but it's a whole different thing when you organize those wants, goals, & plans in list form.

Here is part of my list from 2006 that I found in my LiveJournal (I was 21...)
-Go on a roller coaster (Does Flight of the Hippogriff count?! Yes? Then 12/10)
-Get married (3/17/10)
-Buy a brand new car (12/11)
-See a movie at the Enzian (Fall 2010)

Other fairly recent things I've accomplished
-Learn to knit (Fall 2010)
-Visit Wizarding World of Harry Potter (this kind of goes with the whole Hippogriff rollercoaster thing)

Sam found this cool site for keeping track of your list. My updated list is here. I'll be adding to it as things come to me and more importantly, I'll be moving some of those items to the COMPLETED column.

Moving Scrapbooks

Videos from my mini vacation a couple of weeks ago.
I got to play around on iMovie & iDVD on Dustin's Mac all week.
It was an absolute dream! Can't wait until I have one of my own.

day 72

goldfinger.

day 71

i've recently switched from pant pjs to short pjs.
i've had these suckers for years and love them so much.

day 70

i was at my mom's this weekend and noticed this lovely zebra planter.
i've never seen such a thing.
we left the zebra at her house and i took her out to lunch for her birthday.
it was a nice little saturday.

day 69

want! found these at barnes and noble. my birthday is in june - FYI.