Dustin Says

I took a life-changing shit the other day. 

Me: Have you ever heard of Phineas P. Gage?
Dustin: Have you ever heard of Phineas and Ferb?

It was like that Evanescence song; it brought me to life. 

When silly string catches on fire it turns into serious string. 

Talking about my squeegee...

Me: It's so stupid but works so well. 

Dustin: Just like this relationship.

Ohio is just West Virginia with teeth. 

I'm going to put my headphones on and try to make it through this first period, like I'm a 12 year old girl.