Me: How's your fantasy football going?
Dustin: I don't know but my reality football is shit.
You say bundle of joy, I say biological nightmare.
I'm a problem solver but also a problem creator.
I feel like a blown out sausage.
She's got the personality of a piece of gum stuck under a seat.
Disney should come out with a movie sequel to 'All Dogs Go To Heaven' called 'All Cats Go To Hell'. (Also I just looked it up and ADGTH is not a Disney movie. The more you know.)
After Dustin tells me two back to back stories of his teen years on a bus and in an auditorium where tampons go flying.
There was a lot of tampon tossing in Palm Coast.
If you look up "piece of shit" in the dictionary there is a photo of me and Mr. Hankey waving up at you.
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