Dustin Says

For someone who is always constipated you have a real knack for clogging the toilet.

Her sideburn is reminiscent of The Rock in the mid 90s. 

There is no way anyone is murdering me before I murder them first. 

Let me joy you and then annoy you. 

Me: Taylor Swift is going to talk with Robin Roberts at the draft tonight. 

Dustin: Maybe her next surprise is she will be the number one pick.

I don't care...like a pubic hair on a chair.

Me: People love you.
Dustin: Well that's their problem.

Sometimes I feel bad for making fun of you but I get over it real quick.

I believe in aliens but they don't believe in me.