Dustin Says

My step dad is halfway through our memoir High School.

Me: What do you think so far?
Him: I’m shocked you two could write a book considering how much acid you took you little fuckers.

Best review yet. Don’t forget to pre order or pick up a copy September 24th (I think?).

— Tegan and Sara (@teganandsara) September 7, 2019

I read the above tweet to Dustin...
Where did they get acid in high school?
I had trouble finding a Jolly Rancher!

Post Malone can't figure out if he wants to be John Denver or Lil John.

You accept me for the asshole that I am and I really appreciate that.

I'm never going to fax anything.
Those are the "fax".

Dustin: You've got a real homely vibe going on.
Me: **shock and confusion spreads across my face** Thanks a lot. You invite me to lunch and insult me.
Dustin: What are you talking about?!
Me: **show him the definition of homely**
Dustin: No that's not what I meant at all. I just meant your dress looks like you're a character in Red Dead redemption on a homestead.
Me:

Every person who works a full time job has a little depression.

After seeing Fiddy's new profile photo of Brown and Brady. (VOMIT.)
Me: What does Fiddy get out of trolling?
Dustin: Pure joy.

Lana Del Ray needs to come out with a song called 'Too Hot For Happiness'.