Dustin Says

It's like how I feel about people from high school; most of them were fine but I don't care if I ever see them again. 

Cheeto has main character energy. 

Voldemort wore a moo moo. 

If I got a work-from-home job it would just be a "from-home" because I wouldn't do any work. 

Dustin: I got an Arnold Palmer - ya know half lemonade, half tea. 
Me: You mean half good and half bad?

Your bones sound like you're walking in the forest snapping twigs. 

I pulled some toys out for Olive because she was playing with a piece of mulch. 

You're so cranky you're basically a model T.