Dustin and I left the house at 5:30 because we had to stop by the mall on the way. We left the mall at 6pm which still gave us exactly 2 hours until the show started. We thought we would get there really early and have plenty of time to fart around before the show started.
WRONG.
SO. VERY. WRONG.
First of all it took 30 minutes to get from the Altamonte Mall to I-4 which is maybe half a mile. We didn't know the west bound on-ramp was closed so we were stuck in a parking lot. I thought there was an actual detour but we learned that it was a big u-turn going the wrong direction. I was livid. I don't do well in traffic especially that kind of insanity. Honestly if we hadn't already paid for the tickets we would have just gone home.
I-4 was moving enough that I had calmed down a little. But as soon as we got off the exit we were in yet another ridiculous parking lot. We just sat there for almost an hour. We could SEE the City Walk parking garage. The minute I feel rushed I panic. The minute I feel like I'm going to be late I have anxiety. I felt some relief as we finally turned into the parking garage around 8:45 but then I saw there was a good 20 car line at EACH attendant. Also there was only one person at each station. Come on Universal, be efficient! Dustin and I were so annoyed with the whole experience and I was close to tears (from the stress of it all) by the time we got up to pay for parking that he paid for preferred parking. $30 just to park our car. Cool. But then we couldn't even find a spot in the preferred section. I had never seen City Walk so fucking packed in every sense. Once we finally parked we booked it to the security line. As if the night wasn't already shit, security took my fucking pepper spray. The pepper spray I was inspired to get BECAUSE of this podcast.
Then we Oprah-style-speed-walked to the other side of City Walk. So many people. The crowds were insane and and I during the chaos I took a mental note to NEVER GO TO CITY WALK AT NIGHT AGAIN. Crowds also give me anxiety. I know I know, I should just make a list of the things that don't give me anxiety.
We get to the Hard Rock Live and we both have to pee. The bathrooms are down a million steps and I swear we're going down into a dungeon. It's a weird feeling being anywhere in FL and going downstairs from the main level. For all you northerners, we don't have basements. I peed and as I was rushing out I literally ran into my girl Ashley as I was paper toweling my hands dry. We had the quickest hug and hello and I was running up the stairs so Dustin and I could find our seats. We got seated at exactly 8pm. We were red-faced, sweaty, and completely out of breath but godammit we made it. I was assuming they would start right on time but thankfully they were about 10-15 minutes late which gave us time to compose ourselves.
They walked on stage and they were just the cutest. Karen was so Karen in her all black ninja outfit and Georgia was so Georgia in her cute blue tights. They shot the shit for the first 15 or so minutes. They talked about a jewelry box they almost bought at an antique store somewhere near Lakeland. Georgia giggled over the fact Vince (her husband and their tour manager) left his sunglasses at their table. They warned the newbies that even though this is a comedy podcast about murder that they were in no way making fun of the murders themselves. It's hard for some people to understand but I totally get it. Murder is a fucking heavy topic but it should be discussed and if there are some moments that can be made a little lighter than hell fucking yeah. I love how they always try and do their best by the way of the victims of each story they tell. Most of all this podcast has inspired me to STAY SEXY AND NOT GET MURDERED. Just kidding (kind of). It's inspired me to take situations seriously and if I feel any kind of bad or even weird twinge in my body to get the fuck out. It's given me that confidence to "fuck politeness" and empowered me to be more aware about my surroundings always. If you're into true crime then these ladies might just get you through a boring work day or long road trip.
Since the ladies were in Florida they both did stories about Florida murderers. Karen did Judy "The Black Widow" Buenoano and Georgia did Aileen Wuornos. I had never heard of The Black Widow so that one was even more interesting to me. Aileen Wuornos is incredibly infamous so I knew her story but still Georgia through in some details I was not privy to. Also she killed along I-4 so that one hit close to home.
I know true crime isn't for everyone and MFM really isn't for everyone but to the people that get it, thank you for being my people. This includes my amazing husband who bought me the tickets, got pissed as hell with me in traffic, and ran with me to this show.
STAY SEXY AND DON'T GET MURDERED!
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