2017 in Numbers

(1) PREGNANCY - Not mine of course! My brother and his girlfriend found out they are expecting a little boy in April 2018. Aunt mode is on.

(1) KIA FORTE - Totally paid off my car in December. More money for other things. Yeauhhh!

(1) STANLEY CUP - The Pens won their 5th cup this year. Back to back champyinz bitches!

(2) MARCHES - Dustin, Aubrie, my mom, Lauren, and Joanne (amongst many many others) marched for women on January 21, 2017. Dustin, Pat, Lauren and I (and many others of course) marched for the importance of science on April 22, 2017. The fact that we had to march for either still boggles my mind.

(2) DEATHS - We all said goodbye to Dustin's Pap and my grandmother in the first half of 2017.

(2) WEDDINGS - I celebrated Michelle and Josh at the beginning of the year and just partied hard at the DeJesus wedding in October.

(2) OUT OF STATE TRIPS - I got to visit my boo in Texas and my cuz in Massachusetts. Both places were gorgeous in very different ways.

(2) NEW TATTOOS - I got the kittiots tattooed on my arms this year and cannot wait to go back to Angela and get so many more.

(3) DISNEY DAYS - We got the FL resident deal where you can buy 3 or 4 days for really cheap. We started off at Epcot celebrating Rachelle's 30th, then Disney day we went to Animal Kingdom with the Benton fam, and our last day was spent at Hollywood Studios to celebrate our (12th) anniversary.

(4) DAYS WITHOUT POWER - Thanks to good ol' Hurricane Irma. She really fucked shit up.

(6) CONCERTS - Got to see Andrew McMahon float across the crowd on a rubber duck with Katie and we also went to see Ed and Tim Hill too. Rocked out with Dustin while seeing Brand New and Thrice. I ended my year in concerts with my beloved Paramore at the fanciest venue ever.

(160) SECONDS - We all stared into the sun and saw the coolest Solar Eclipse.

(305) RAISED - For my birthday I requested people donate to Planned Parenthood. It got bigger than I ever expected. $305 big. I'm still in awe of all of my friends who donated.

Everyone's initial reaction to 2017 as a whole is a huge sigh followed with "It was shit". And you know what? It totally was shit. Utter shit. I have never experienced the constant anxiety that 2017 brought. I cried a lot. Dustin talked me down from the ledge A LOT. But it was also fucking really rad at times. Thank you to all my friends who through all the bullshit helped keep me stay sane with hugs and memes and memorable experiences. Without you I would've felt complete hopelessness this year. Instead I only felt slight hopelessness. Ha. Jokes. Kind of.

"That's how we're going to win. Not fighting what we hate but saving what we love. "

But I also felt a glimmer of hope too.

My biggest accomplishment of 2017 was waking the fuck up and acting. I called my representatives in both Congress and the Senate at least 100 times. I put their numbers in my phone and I called daily on my lunch break. I sent emails and filled out surveys. I signed petitions and marched TWICE! Sometimes you have to go through hell to really see what you're made of and this year was a huge lesson in that. I won't be silent again. Even if things turn around for the better (2020 where you at?) I promise not to back down from doing my part as an American as a human being.

"We are the spark, that will light the fire that'll burn the First Order down. "

2018 doesn't bring me joy the way past new years have but it is a wonderful reminder that time moves on and that everything is temporary, even the darkness.

I didn't quite ace my 2017 resolutions but that's ok. They are always more of a guideline; not something that is set in stone. They can be adjusted as needed. I did my best with my reading list but only read 14 out of my 25 book goal. I traveled to visit Erin (TX) and Hayley (MA) but Dustin and I never got to go on a trip together. I filled out our passport paperwork but never turned it in. I got more tattoos! I DID. I never got a new desk or rug I so desperately still need. But I did my best. So there's that.

2018 resolutions:

• Lose weight. Cliche as hell, I know. But I'm the heaviest I've ever been partly because of medication and partly because of my own habits. There's nothing like a fresh start to get back on track. 
• Get shit framed. I have a lot of art and posters that I rather have hanging on my walls than collecting dust. It's one of those annoying projects that I need to just get done. 
• Save that money. Now that my car is paid off I'm hoping it becomes easier to plump up my savings account. 
• More tattoos. This kind of goes against my 'saving up money' resolution since tattoos are fucking expensive but I want to keep adding some because they make me happy and I could use all the happiness I can get. 
• Be kinder to myself. I feel that I've been so cruel to myself recently. I tear myself down all the time. Dustin's even made comments about it. So I'm going to consciously be kind to myself. I'm going to love myself again. 

I do have some things to look forward already which certainly helps keep my spirits up.

THREE CONCERTS. Lana Del Rey, Lorde, & Taylor Swift.
I'm going to be a first-time aunt in the spring.

Here's to reaching our goals and not shitting all over ourselves if we don't.

(This video was HELL. iMovie was a pain in the ass. YouTube took forever and a day to upload and then once it was up they blocked it due to copyright bullshit. So I deleted the songs (which sucks because they were perfect - Hard Times by Paramore, Hold My Hand by Hootie and the Blowfish, and What Do I Know? by Ed Sheeran). I uploaded again. Still fucked up. And again. NOPE. And again. Typically I have everything ready to go by NYE but in true 2017 fashion this year was a total mess. So here's the damn video. The original was much better but whatevs.)