Currently

I know I haven't been posting as regularly as I normally do. The thing is I've just had a lot going on in my real life (trip, concert, other shit) so I haven't had time to write about it all in my blog world. Also, the days I haven't been as busy, I just feel incredibly drained, and I have fallen asleep by 9PM on multiple occasions recently. So bear with me, I'm still here. 

Reading: HARRY POTTER mofos! A couple weeks ago Dustin and I got to talking about that time (in 2010) when I read (OUT LOUD to Dustin) The Deathly Hallows from cover to cover right before Part One was released. He told me it was one of his favorite things we'd shared together. I totally agreed. So there we were laying in bed, kind of bored, talking about Harry Potter when he suggested I read the first one (The Sorcerer's Stone) to him. I immediately perked right up. I'm always game when it comes to Harry Potter. I've read all 7 books multiple times. Dustin has never read any of them (well, he did listen to me read The Deathly Hallows so that counts). But I'm always going on and on about the differences of the books and movies. (Still love them both!) For example, Dustin never knew about Peeves the Poltergeist because he was never in the movies but he is in every book. So for the past two weeks, before we'd go to bed, I'd read a couple chapters each night. We just finished the book last night and immediately watched the movie. It was so much fun (even though I fell asleep at 8:30 with half an hour still left. See what I mean about being completely drained?!) I can't wait to start The Chamber of Secrets with him tonight. He'll be petrified of being petrified. 

Listening to: Taylor Swift's new song 'Sweeter Than Fiction'. I didn't like it right off the bat. It took me several listens to really get into it. And then I did what I always do with a new song and went straight to googling the lyrics. A song with good lyrics is a million times better than the catchiest song. Of course, Taylor didn't disappoint. The current events in my own life made this song even more relatable to me. It also gives me hope for brighter days to come.

Seen you fall, seen you crawl on your knees, eh eh
Seen you lost in a crowd, seen your colors fade
Wish I could make it better
Someday you won't remember
The pain you thought would last forever and ever
 
What a sight, what a sight when the light came on
Proved me right, proved me right when you proved them wrong
And in this perfect weather 
It's like we don't remember
The rain we thought would last forever and ever

Thinking about: My body & how I need to love it more than I do. Earlier in the week I saw Robyn Lawley on Ellen. I had never heard of her before and now she's my new hero (and BFF). She's a model from Australia who has a great outlook on body image. She thinks "thigh gaps"are ridiculous and says that people should be whatever size their natural weight is, not the size of these celebrities or models that are incredibly thin. Every body is different. We are all different. So why do we always try to look the same? 

Like everyone, I go through times where I am hard on myself about how I look but I'm not one to obsess over it for long. Those thoughts come and go. One week I feel great about my body and another week I don't. I think it's just human to have insecurities about that kind of thing. We all want to look and feel our best and that's not exactly a bad thing. It's when people go to extremes that it becomes worrisome. I've never done a crash diet or over exercised. My whole outlook has been to cut down on crap and eat better and try and throw in some exercise when possible. Mind you, this is not a daily thing. I'm not perfect in my food and exercising habits, not even close, but I am certainly healthier now than I have ever been. I've got a long way to go but I'm not going to stress over it. A little at a time.

After hearing (and then later reading) all the positive thoughts Robyn Lawley had to share on the subject I immediately started to look at myself differently. I cut myself some slack. And not just that but I accepted some things that are never going to change with my body. I know it sounds silly for stranger on television to have such a big impact but she really has a great message. It also brought me back to my doctor's visit a couple weeks ago. I went in for a check up and my doctor said I was one of his healthiest patients. He also said I am at the perfect BMI for my height/weight. So on the days I'm just not feeling it, I'll think of Robyn and I'll think of that doctor's visit and try to remove those negative thoughts from my mind.