Dustin Says

It smells like perfume and spaghetti sauce.

Pogs were cool. I love cardboard.

So far, 29 feels gassier.

I woke up in a cold sweat thinking about hockey.

Said to Matt:
I want to get you a goat for your birthday.

That's a pretty funny joke. You should say it when people are around.

Dustin: How can I say this without offending you? I like your new shirt but you kind of look like a McDonald's manager from the 70s.
Me: -_____-

The only thing I like about the Pope is that he wears a cape.

As I'm driving us home Dustin bursts out with...
I need a Batman action figure. Can you turn us around?!