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2/8/17
It annoys me when people refer to a 23 year old as "just a kid". No, they are a young adult who should be made accountable.

2/10/17
Ks are my least favorite letter to write.

2/13/17
I can't eat yogurt without granola these days. #yogurtsnob

Know how some people look up their ex on FB? I just had that except with my old Ford Probe. Googled image the shit out of it and now I'm sad.

2/15/17
Hate the new Mae song. Dislike the new Andrew McMahon CD. Maybe we're all just growing apart.

"Dogs are great. We should be the ones licking them!" -Santa Clarita Diet

Remember this the next time there's a school or mass shooting and the GOP says "Guns aren't the problem. It's a mental health issue." https://t.co/1f6bh97brJ

— Greg Hogben (@MyDaughtersArmy) February 15, 2017

2/21/17
Someone just tried to spell out their last name S-A-L...
Me: Salazar, as in Slytherin? Oh I got it!

2/22/17
How are adult-only nights at restaurants not a thing yet?

2/2
When you try to peak at what is tattooed on a guys arm and then realize he's just really hairy.

2/27/17
I'm stressing out over a weekend that is two months away. Introverting real hard over here.

3/1/17
Hey Tampa, why do my unscented tampons smell like they've been dipped in perfume?!

3/8/17
I've been having ovary pains all day. Maybe it's their way to celebrate International Woman's Day.

3/9/17
I'm beginning to have more elected official phone numbers saved in my phone than friends. Whatevs.

3/10/17
I can't keep up with all these new slang words. I had to look up what "extra" meant.

3/13/17
Can cats have "terrible twos"?

3/14/17
Pi Day reminds me of middle school where we'd have pi related events and also Olivia Munn but when she was on AOTS in the good ol' days.

3/20/17
The term "snowflake" makes me cringe like the term "humble pie". Just stop.

What's worse than upset stomach? Having it when you have plans and expecting company so ur trying to hurry but ur buttholes like nah bro.

— Tobie (@TobieTobieTobie) March 22, 2017

3/26/17
Serious question: How do the girls on Survivor not get yeast infections?

3/27/17
I feel my worst about my body when I shop at Sophie & Trey and my best when I shop at ModCloth. Models should be diverse.