Dustin Says

I have a great idea, probably worth millions - a special line for fat guys called "MANternity".

Olive: Meooooooow.
Dustin: Olive, what is the fecal matter with you?

After I came home from getting my hair did. 
Your hair is so citrus-y. It smells like they just dropped a lime on your head.

Me: I can't believe Hines retired in 2012. It feels like only a couple years ago.
Dustin: That's what happens when you're old as fuck.
Me: -____-

Me: If we were in divorce court and the judge asked Cheeto to decide who to live with he'd totally pick you.
Dustin: True! But we're never getting divorced.
Me: What if we start hating each other?
Dustin: We'll just have to live with it - as a family.

Me: I'm going to go in there like a boss - nice yet firm.
Dustin: Sounds more like a butt.

While Olive just starts standing on my chest.
I think she is trying to jump into your soul.