2019 in Books

I read TWENTY TWO books this year! Woo! My goal was 25 but whatever. I did my best and I'm still proud of what I accomplished. Had I stuck out a few books I started but couldn't get through I most definitely would have reach my goal but I've stopped pushing through books that make me fall asleep or don't bring me joy of any kind. 

I finally joined a book club back in April. I've really been enjoying the books we've been reading (some of which I never would've known about otherwise) and the ladies I've gotten to know because of it. It's so nice to get together once a month and just discuss what we loved, hated, and every feeling in between we felt about that month's book. Thank you to Sam for leading the meetings! 

Here's my Goodreads account if you want to follow me over there!

1. Star Girl by Jerry Spinelli - I've been wanting to join a book club for a long time but it's hard to find one. When I told Katie about this she suggested Aubrie and I start our own since Aubrie was already in one at school and wanted to read more books. I told her I was totally down. I asked Aubrie what she wanted to read and she asked me to pick because I "know what she'd like". So I was tasked with the decision. I gave her two options and she picked Star Girl. This book is about a girl in high school who completely walks to the beat of her own drum and lives to makes others feel special and seen. It's truly at the core about being yourself no matter what. It's a good reminder for all of us. Star Girl reminded me a lot of Aubrie from the physical descriptions "sprinkle of freckles crossed the bridge of her nose", "She wore no makeup, and her eyes were the biggest I had ever seen, like deer's eyes caught in the headlights.", but also how she doesn't have to follow the crowd. I hope she always sees how important that is. I really enjoyed this one. I just read they filmed a movie last year so by the time this comes out there may be a trailer! #teamstargirl

• The commotion within me went on, but at a lower volume, as if someone had turned down my dial.
• I never realized how much I needed the attention of others to confirm my own presence.

2. One Day in December by Josie Silver - This was recommended me by Dani Hampton via her insta stories and OMG I'm so grateful. This really was a fucking treat of a book. She described it as "meaty" and I would agree. I don't want to give anything away but I really loved the characters and how the story spanned about 10 years total. This was such a satisfying read! 

• ...real life, where hearts get kicked and bruised and broken, but somehow they keep beating.
• You tread through life, but you leave deep footprints that are hard for other people to fill."

 

3. Am I Doing This Right? by Tanya Hennessy - I don't remember how I first came across Tanya's videos but from the makeup tutorial she had be hooked. She's just so genuine and hilarious I started following her on social media as well. Then she released this book and it was just as good. 

4. The Dreamers by Karen Thompson Walker - Several college kids fall asleep and don't wake up. The illness spreads through town and those infected have extremely high brain activity levels. The story was so intriguing and the writing magical. 

 

5. Poems for a World Gone to Shit by Philip Larkin - I was so looking forward to this since times are tough and I often feel so helpless in these shitty times but this collection of poems didn't do much to help me feel much better. 

6. The Proposal by Jasmine Guillory - Nikole Paterson gets a scoreboard proposal at a Dogers game and says no... I think I saw Reese Witherspoon recommend this book on Instagram. It was fine but very predictable and the characters didn't do much for me. 

• Motherfucker. She was in love with him. Now what?

 

7. Educated by Tara Westover - I remember seeing Tara as a guest on Ellen and being totally intrigued by her story so I downloaded the book on my kindle immediately. WHAT. A. STORY. Her family was unique in that they didn't go to hospitals or school (until Tara was 17 and started to teach herself). This book is shocking on so many levels but what really got me was Tara and I are only a year apart. This happened to her when I was living a completely comfortable, educated, existence across the country. Highly recommend!

8. Fight or Flight by Samantha Young - This was my first book I read for my book club. This was a fun and flirty romantic book. Overall it was enjoyable but there were a few moments where I wanted to punch the leading guy in the face especially when he talked about women's bodies. 

 

9. Fierce Fairytales by Nikita Gill - Nikita is a beautiful poet and I really enjoyed her modern take on classic stories. 

10. The Valedictorian of Being Dead by Heather Armstrong - I've followed Heather and her blog dooce for 15+ years. I listen to her podcast and follow her on Instagram. I just love her and she's always felt like a friend. I've always loved her honesty with mental illness and in this book she really bares it all. This book is about her experimental treatment of only three participants where doctors induce a coma several times in order to cure her severe depression. For anyone who has dealt with depression or knows someone who has (which should literally be every single person) this is an important read. I don't know Heather but I'm so proud of her. 

• "I know the pain; I understand the pain. I had lived the pain every second of every hour of every day for over eighteen months. That is why I cannot and will not ever accuse someone who has killed themselves of being selfish. Is it tragic? Absolutely. It is tragic that the human brain can convince someone to believe that the world would be a better brighter place without their soul inside it.

• I turned off her light and headed upstairs from the basement bedroom to watch an episode of Felicity with Leta. This nightly ritual we share has brought me closer to my daughter than anything else in our lives.

• "You can't cover up a sincere desire to be dead with foundation or mascara or even a hoodie.

 

11. A Curve in the Road by Julianne Maclean - This was also a book club book. Everything changes when a drunk driver hits Abbie's car and she is rushed to the hospital (and her dog is lost). Things really start to come apart. This book starts with a literal bang and kind of slows a bit towards the middle. I enjoyed this book and wanted to get to the bottom of it all just as much as Abbie. 

12. Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - If you don't know what SSDGM stands for or who Elvis is then you are truly missing out. Karen and Georgia are incredibly popular hosts of the My Favorite Murder podcast in which they not only talk about true crime, give incredible advice about staying safe, and talk about their own lives and bad decisions. This book is just a more in depth version of that and it was really enjoyable. Their honesty about drug addition, alcoholism, divorce, abuse, and all the family bullshit is so refreshing and makes all of us murderinos feel less alone. 

• Consider yourself lucky if you never joined the club of kids from broken homes who had the unsettling experience of being privy to our parents' dating lives. For most of us card-carrying members, it was our first glimpse of how human our parents actually are, an earth-shattering realization at any age. 
• Fucking politeness isn't a strict rule, it's a practice, an art to master throughout life.
• She was sensitive and helpful but lived by an overall rule of tough love and uncomfortable honesty.
• Figure out who your clutch-five friends are and drop your expectations of everyone else. 

 

13. Radium Girls by Kate Moore - This was a book club book about the true story of the women who worked in radium-dial factories. They all light up like "fireflies" and soon discover how deadly radium actually is and work to put an end to such work conditions and regulations. I had no idea about this until reading the book which I'm not proud to admit. The stories of what these women went through is gruesome but I'm so glad they fought back. 

14. Mostly Dead Things by Kristen Arnett - Kristen is not only from Orlando but in her debut she paints quite a photo of this little part of the world. It is a strange read and there are parts that are truly fascinating but the characters are all so broken and the vibe is so grimy. I was entertained but overall the story didn't progress much for me so I was disappointed in the end. 

• It was what Central Floridians did: pave over everything so they could forget what had been there before.
• Though I planned out everything, my life was somehow made up of an endless series of unwanted surprises.
• Love makes you an open wound, susceptible to infection.
• We spent so much time looking for pieces of ourselves in other people that we never realized they were busy searching for the same things in us. 

 

15. Vagina A Re-Education by Lynn Enright - This is another favorite of mine from 2019. Thank you to Estee LaLonde for having the author on her podcast which pushed me to buy this book in the first place. This book is part memoir and part factual guide of all things vagina. I really believe it should be mandatory reading for both girls and boys. There are so many important chapters like how a hymen doesn't mean shit and using vulva correctly instead of the all encompassing word of vagina. 

16. Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly - This book was inspired by a real-life WWII heroine. I'm a sucker for the women of this era and their stories. This story in particular is about three women whose lives intertwine during WWII. The fight in all of these women is truly admirable. 

• I felt a wave of la doubler, one of the many French words that do not translate into English well, which means "the pain of wanting someone you can't have."
• After that, we were like flies stuck in honey, alive but not really living.
• For sadness was often a more potent killer than disease.
• I guess somewhere in the corner of our hearts, we are always twenty.
• Father loved the fact that a lilac only blossoms after a harsh winter.

  

17. Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens - This is one of my favorite books I read this year. This story centers around the coming of age story of Kya Clark aka Marsh-Girl. It is truly heart-breaking and powerful. 

• His dad had told him many times that the definition of a real man is one who cries without shame, reads poetry, with his heart, feels opera with his sol, and does what's necessary to defend a woman.
• That's what sisters and girlfriends are all about. Sticking together even in the mud, 'specially in mud.
• She'd laughed for his sake, something she'd never done. Giving away another piece of herself to have someone. 
• I guess some things can't be explained, only forgiven or not.
• Let's face it, a lot of times love doesn't work out. Yet even when it fails, it connects you to others and, in the end, that is all you have, the connections. 

18. The Hating Game by Sally Thorne - This book was suggested during one of my book club meetings and I absolutely adored it. It's the perfect rom-com book (soon to be a movie). It's very fast paced and a quick fun read. 

• Books were, and always would be something a little magic and something to respect.
• I want to be asleep, that lovely dark place where these anxieties and sadness can't follow me.
• I've got so much inside me I have no idea about. I'm like a mayor of a city I've never seen. 

 

19. The Broken Girls by Simone St. James - This was another book club pick and I really enjoyed it. Vermont 1950 and Vermont 2014. This book has super-natural elements, a little bit of a creepy vibe, mixed with a ton of mystery and crime and most of all friendship and justice.  

• That was what books did - they turned off your thinking for you, put their thoughts in your head so you wouldn't have your own. 

20. High School by Tegan and Sara Quinn - This is a high school memoir from the musicians Tegan and Sara where they go back to the days of fighting with their parents and using LSD amongst a myriad of other fun teenage happenings. I loved reading about their teenage life in Calgary and how they started Tegan and Sara. 

"Though Sara and I were content to ignore their existence, they seemed obsessed with ours."

"I grew up feeling like with Mom, we were at home, but at Dad's, we were guests."

"But the older I got, the more I saw the men leaving as irrational, and the women's emotions as the only sensible reactions. From the women, I learned to speak up about the things that were important to me. To brandish my emotions with pride. My voice mattered."

21. The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman - This was the last book club book of the year. Nina grew up with her mother traveling and her father non-existent. Then she finds out who her father is once he dies and starts to get to know all of her new family members. She's a very routine driven introvert who works at a book store and loves trivia nights. This book is so charming.

• Nina worried she liked being alone too much; it was the only time she ever fully relaxed. People were...exhausting. 
• If I walked into my kitchen at night and flicked on the light and saw a penis lying on the ground, I would definitely scream and hit it with a broom. At the very least, I would climb on a chair until it rolled away. 
• You know, as a kid I felt alone a lot, but I also really liked being alone. 
• Sometimes people tried to get her to do something instead, but she was fiercely defensive of her nothing. 

22. Red, White, & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston - What happens when America's first son falls in love with the Prince of Wales? I fucking loved this book. It has American politics (woman president even!), Royals, romance, and so much hilarious wit. It's such a fun one!

• As your mother, I  can appreciate that maybe this isn't your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term.
• ...vandalized the sign outside one particular senator's office to read BITCH MCCONNELL, but she'll never prove it. 
• I'm not...historically great at talking about thins, Henry says. Well, I wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart.

book photos: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty one, twenty two