The Friday Five - Flaws

I didn't have time for one of these last week - booo. But it's back!

My co-workers like to mess with me and say things like "Ashley's perfect". A completely false statement but it made me think WHY they say it. It's because of my anal-retentive personality. I like everything organized - my desk, my emails, notes, etc. I also hate being behind or playing catch-up of any kind. So I always do whatever I can to get my work done in a timely manner. Work Ashley isn't so different than regular Ashley except work Ashley doesn't cuss. And I just wrote about myself in third person. Ah whatever. But I'm very much the same in my every day life. My entire house is cleaned every single week, I have been known to spend whole days organizing, I use my phone and physical calendar for everything, etc. It's just my personality. It's who I am but I am certainly NOT PERFECT. So this week's Friday Five are my five flaws.

1. SENSITIVE/OVER EMOTIONAL - I cry over everything - happy, sad, indifferent, stupid. It's pretty ridiculous. This morning I cried over a blog I read and the other day my eyes filled up with tears while I was at work even though I was trying my hardest to fight them back. And don't take me to the movies because I'll flood the place. A damn mess! I also take pretty much everything personally (Dustin tells me this all the time). I try not to but I do. I feel better once someone assures me they didn't mean it the way I took it. But initially I always take shit personally.

2. TEMPER - I have been known to have quite the temper. It's not something that happens all the time. I don't just walk around like a smaller version of the Hulk. But in traffic I will straight up flick you off while screaming "MOTHERFUCKINGPIECEOFSHITETCETC". I get mad easily over really dumb shit like when my Sims 3 stops working and I haven't saved my game. I will throw the nearest object. But I usually keep my cool when arguments break out with Dustin, friends, or family. It's always the little stuff that pisses me off and sends me into a rage. Definitely something I don't like about myself and hope to eventually change.

3. PATIENCE - What's that? Never heard of it. I hate waiting for anything. I like everything to be done or happen right that very moment or I get super grumpy and complain like there is no tomorrow.

4. GRUDGE HOLDER - I just asked Dustin to name a flaw of mine and although he was very scared to do so he said "grudge holder". I kind of have to agree with him. But I think it's more stubbornness (which is no better - believe me I know). I hate to give in first. I will always apologize and admit my wrongdoings but man oh man do I hate being the first.

5. OVER ANALYZER - I will literally think about something that is bothering me so much that it will make me sick. Physically ill from thought. I will pick it apart in my head for days. A fight. A hard time. A dream. Anything. I will think about a trillion different scenarios and what I should have said or done differently. I hope to someday learn to let things go a little easier. I don't need to hold on to things and let it take over my brain. I'm good about telling others how I feel but I definitely let shit eat me up before doing so.

This list could have gone on and on...paranoid, perfectionist, over-reacter, moody, control freak...