Dustin Says

I rather watch Miley twerk than go to work.

It looks like the Jacksonville Jaguars bought their helmets at play-it-again sports and then ran out of spray paint.

Miley and I are kindred spirits.

Dustin: What are you getting at the mall?
Me: I want to find a good pair of "boyfriend jeans".
Dustin: Why don't you just get some "husband jeans" instead?

I had to focus on a shrub to keep myself from laughing.

That's a horse shit call!