Holy Shit, 2015

We're only a couple weeks into the year and I'm as overwhelmed as ever. Practically every weekend until Dustin's birthday in April is already booked with something to do. Now if you know me at all you know not to take offense to this if you happen to be one of those scheduled people. I love spending time with all of you but I also love my own personal (ME TIME) space too. I'm just a better, happier person when I have an equal amount of both. Typically I'll schedule something every other weekend so on the weekends in between I can sit around in bed and read or binge watch a TV or whatever. I just like to be alone as much as I like to be around my friends. Maybe it's because I'm an introvert or maybe it was my only-child upbringing or maybe I'm just a weirdo. I just know what makes my mind and body feel it's best.

So these next few months are already giving me anxiety. I can't stop thinking about the financial strain, the physical and emotional demand, and just that feeling I'm going to be pushing myself too hard. I know this sounds like whining but it's really not. It's just my personality to not want to do something or be with someone every second of every day. I don't want to feel rushed. I don't want to feel off.

I've got a ton of things to look forward to (which I'm so grateful for - obviously) like a Solar Bear game with the Bentons', Diagon Alley, Sam's Bachelorette Party, our anniversary, Katie's birthday in Savannah, Sam & Pat's wedding, a concert, & a trip to Pittsburgh for Dustin's 30th. Phew. It wore me out just to type it all. I'm excited of course and I have proudly listed each event on my calendar but that's a lot on anyone. I just wish everything were a little more spread out. I know it will all work out and a good time will be had but I just wouldn't be me if I wasn't stressed about it. 2015 might just be the new 2010. That was a fucking crazy good year and this one will be too if I can keep my shit together.

Come May, I'm going to walk into my bedroom, scream at the top of my lungs, take a 3 day nap, eat an entire pizza (and maybe a dozen cupcakes), take a couple deep breaths, and read a book in one sitting.

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