"Did they just say marijuana? ON NICKELODEON?! What's next, heroin on the Disney channel?"
"You're like the MacGyver of parties."
"You've gotten more hardcore over the years. I think I've rubbed off on you."
"I was a little whore. I'd do anything for a ninja turtle."
"I hate girl drivers. There is a girl on one side of me eating cereal and a girl on the other side putting on makeup with a paintbrush my grandma uses for ceramics."
"When you tell me to eat vegetables, etc. it's like you are a MIT. Mom-in-training."
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