Dustin Says

I can't wait to go to a Cracker Barrel in 50 years and see a DVD player and Nintendo hanging on the wall.

I don't know the lyrics to this song but I can imitate what they sound like.

Couponing is like a game that's not even fun.

The knee is the elbow of the leg.

While in Publix...
Dustin: Hey, let me show you what I found.
Me: Oooh nice. So we don't have to buy the wax straight from Scentsy!
Dustin: Fuck Scentsy. We aren't putting up with their corporate bullshit.

Said nonchalantly while playing Dragon Age.
I'm going into a whore house.

I'm driving behind a car that says 'Just Married' on their window. Why doesn't anyone write 'Just Divorced'?

Quick, come look at these pictures of the Ninja Turtle's lair. They have a coffee table made out of pizza boxes!