Journal Day 14: Childhood Dreams vs. Right Now

Think about the plans you had for your adult self when you were younger- would you say they match up to your reality today? What did you wish for your future when you were a child? Did you have a plan? And would you say you've followed that plan in any way? This week, look at the life you hoped to have (even if you consider your childhood "dreams" silly now) and see how your current life compares. via Sometimes Sweet

I never had just one dream growing up. My plans for the future always changed as I got older, which is probably the case for a lot of people. I remember as a child, when adults would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would always respond with "veterinarian" because it was an easy answer. Of course I wanted to help animals but I also had no idea what was actually involved in becoming an animal doctor. I think back to that and kind of cringe because it seems so totally naive. Years later I seriously wanted to be a librarian based solely on the fact that I loved the atmosphere of libraries. I wasn't even a huge reader at the time. In high school I took Interior Design and went on to study it in college which again makes me cringe. Don't get me wrong, I still love all things interior design but it's not realistic as a career path. And to be honest, even as I was taking those classes, I never saw myself as some big wig designer 10 years down the road. Professionally, I've never really been able to envision my future. I honestly think I'm one of the many that have just fallen into a career path which isn't necessarily a bad thing. If I had to do it again, I think I'd stick with a creative field. Maybe graphic design or event planning. But I'm perfectly content with the way things have worked out so far. 

When it comes to my personal life, I'm almost exactly where I thought I'd be. In love - just living it up. I spent a lot of time hoping and dreaming that I'd be lucky enough to find THE ONE. And not just get married but spend my life with someone I'm head over heels about. And that's something that has happened for me. I'm so glad out of all the little silly things I've imagined in my head for myself that was the one that actually came to be. I never thought much about having kids when I was a kid myself, so the fact that I have chosen to be childfree is not some huge deal or upset in some big grand scheme. 

I know it's so incredibly broad but all I really wanted for my future was to be happy. Happiness means something different to every person and changes over time but my happiness has always had a lot to do with people. I always wanted a really well-rounded group of individuals, related or not, to surround myself with. I've ended up more with the 'or not' crowd which I wouldn't change for the world. I think the biggest disappointment I've faced is all the family I've seen disappear or I've let go to over the years. When I was young, family meant so much to me. My mom's side and my dad's side were both huge influences in my upbringing. Every holiday was spent split between the two and I cherished those times with both sides. I always thought it would be like that well into adulthood but things just didn't go that way. Now I rarely see my family and when I do it's for weddings, funerals, and Christmas. It's sad but it's just the way things evolved. 

If little Ashley could've seen into the future with flashes of my life right now, I think she would have been overall really pleased. Sure there have been growing pains but it just makes for a more interesting story.