The Truth About Long-Distance Friendship

 

I took it hard when Erin decided to move. I took it even harder when she actually did. We didn't talk for over a month because I needed to figure out how to wrap my head around the fact that she was gone. She gave me time like good friends do, which I appreciated. Then in March when I turned my phone back on after landing at Orlando International Airport, I received a very long heartfelt text from Erin. The short and short of it was she hated not talking and hoped that I was coming around. Her words meant the world to me but still I was still hesitant. We didn't really see eye to eye on how a long distance friendship should work. So for us to move forward I had to accept all that we no longer were and all that we would never be again. That was a tough pill to swallow and still sometimes gets stuck in my throat from time to time. I finally decided that I rather stay friends in even the smallest capacity rather than lose her completely.

The last six months have been a huge adjustment and the fact that she is gone has finally started to sink in. Sadly, I'm used to life without her these days. I wish that weren't the case. I wish she was still apart of it all but it's just impossible when someone lives 1,000+ miles away. You can't help but live separate lives because you are very much separated.

 

I've seen movies and I've read magazine articles where they sugar coat the shit out of long distance friendship. Especially long distance BEST friendship. But the truth is, it's not all cute voicemails and sparkly surprise packages at your door. It's not flying to each other once a month. Real life long distance friendship fucking sucks because there is a constant reminder at every turn. Like the time a few months back when Andrew McMahon announced his new tour dates and then I realized Erin and I obviously wouldn't be able to go together like we always have in the past. Or the time when Dustin told me Erin messaged him on Facebook to get birthday gift ideas for me because she said she doesn't know what I'm into these days. Or just last week when she asked me what she should do to her hair and I had to admit that I didn't even know what color or cut she was sporting these days to offer a suggestion. We no longer know the details of each other's lives. It kills me every time I have to face that fact. We text daily but it's just not the same. Texting is meant to get a point across and unfortunately leaves out the little things that so often are your favorite parts of someone. Like uninterrupted train of thought. Like facial expressions and emotions. Emoticons try their best but a full tooth smiley will never compare to an in-person smile or laughing so hard together you can't breathe. Texting, as great as it is can never replace those things.

I picked Erin up from the airport last Friday. It was the first time we had seen each other in exactly 6 months. I was nervous (and excited) as I drove to meet her. I thought how weird it was to feel nervous. I've driven to meet her hundreds of times but now it was different. I hate that it is different. Of course she looked great as she always does. There wasn't any awkwardness. She just jumped in my car and we hugged. We immediately were back in sync. Back to our playful, sarcastic banter. She was only here for 48 hrs and the whole point of her trip was to attend her niece and nephew's birthday party, so we had very limited time together. In just a few hours we enjoyed a southern breakfast, a bit of shopping, & hurricane type weather before I dropped her off at her sister's house. Our time together was a total whirlwind. It was like one minute I'm driving to pick her up and the next I'm driving home alone. I had a wonderful time with her as short as it was, but when someone you haven't seen in awhile visits, there's this pressure to get everything in. Quick, tell all the stories. Hurry up, take all the photos. Catch up. Slow down. Ahh, there's not enough time! The clock is in the forefront of your mind reminding you that this is temporary. Regardless, I'm so very happy we were able to get together. Texas is far away and flights are ridiculously expensive so these moments are a rare treasure, much like her.

 

Despite all these changes and how much I will always hate the distance between us, I know that if I needed her she would pick up that phone and talk to me for hours. She would fly out to be with me if I asked her in a time of need. And I would of course do the same for her. Things are worlds different than they were and yet our friendship is still intact. Different, but there. And it always will be in some way, shape, or form. I know we will never be the friends we once were but no one and nothing can take away the connection we will always share.